Who shall be the Patron Saint of A2K?

who is the patron saint of gelatin?

The patron saint of A2K is so obvious to me. (though she would hardly have welcomed the title of "saint" at all! )

Why it's Noddy, of course!

I can't think of a more appropriate higher being (which she most definitely was!) to be watching over us & passing on her grace & wisdom.

Step
1
Become a servant of God. You must giving your life to God and rejecting worldly pleasures. That means no sex, booze or foul language. No telling your mother-in-law where to go and how to get there. Oh, right, no sex so no mother-in-law. Maybe there is something to this whole saint thing.

Step
2
Perform a miracle. You'll have to cure someone of a deadly disease, walk on water or do something equally remarkable. Don't forget your flippers in case the water walk goes awry. Of course, being nice to that mother-in-law would surely count here as a miracle so try that in the event you can't walk on water.

Step
3
Perform yet another miracle but this time you have to do it after you die. An example of this is someone praying to you after you die and then being healed from their affliction. Your mother-in-law praying for your death does NOT qualify you. Nor does someone killing you and then praying to you for forgiveness.

Step
4
Become a martyr. This means you died for your beliefs and you were persecuted and then put to death. Should your spousal unit kill you for your belief in "Monday Night Football," this is not quite what the church has in mind.

Step
5
Advise the church that these events have happened so they can examine them. The church has to determine that the miracles were miracles by church standards. They study the events and then make the determination. This takes years and usually even decades. Unlikely your family and friends will live long enough to know whether your sainthood was bestowed or not. Come to think of it, you won't know one way or the other either.

Step
6
Forget about becoming a saint and go back to sex, booze and foul language. Perform a miracle in the bedroom. Perform the second miracle by actually getting out of bed the next day after a heavy booze-filled night made your family members think you were dead. Document these events with foul language. Be a martyr by pretending to like your mother-in-law. This will not get you canonized. You will, however be called a "saint" by your spousal unit and friends.