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Fri 17 Oct, 2003 05:32 am
In 1950's North Carolina an old gal who had spent her entire life cattle farming saw an ad on this new fangled TV set, from the makers of Carnation milk, which said we will pay $5000 to the person who can write the best little jingle to promote our product.
She said, hey, I can do that no problem.
Two weeks later a limo pulled up outside her little farm and the executive from Carnation handed her a cheque for $1000, he told her we loved your jingle but it's not something the TV people will allow.
What she sent in was this:
Carnation milk is best of all
no tits to pull, no **** to haul
no buckets to wash, no hay to pitch
you just poke a hole in the son of a bitch.
That doggerel appears in the Oxford Companion of American Light Verse. It is attributed to a newspaper reporter (forget his name) and dated to the 1890's. The reciter is supposed to be a cowboy. or rancher. As I recall the Oxford version goes
Carnation milk, its the best in the land.
Here I set with a can in my hand.
No tits to pull, no hay to pitch.
You jut punch a hole in the son of a bitch.
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