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Forums: Relationships, Advice To The Lovelorn
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I am 38 years old , Ive been with my husbend since i was 17 years old . Moved out of my parents house and into a apartment with him by 19 . We have 2 kids , dogs the house and the stuff that comes with it .For the most part of are marrage ive been bymyself . He said it was his job to work and my job was to do every thing else . I raised the kids bas by myself for 16 years went to weddings and hollydays he was never with me . Well when he wouldnt touch me for nothing I was gonna hookup as they call it . Ive only been with 2 men in my life so this was new for me . A friend with bens is what I was gonna do but I fell flat on my face with that . I fell in love with him and he with me . We have been togeather for 2 yrs now . My house and his is less then a min away from each other . My youngest son knows about it all . He gets along better with him then his dad . I would love to run away , leave my husbend but that would mean leaving my older child and being with my husbend for so long I feel bad for him . it kills me to no how much im gonna hurt him and my son . I allways took pride in being a mom and a house wife and now im just a hore .I live in LIMBO everyday , the lies I tell i cant keep up . I have 2 houses 2 dogs 2 familys , im soon to brake , I have to how can I live like this ??I cant . I want to be able to breath again , the pit in my sole that made it its home .I know your all saying " good you deserve everything you r going threw and I do . Didnt want this to happen didnt mean for this to happen but it did. I would love to be a coward and just ck out but that isnt even a real thought . What do I do ??????
My husbend will kill him if he found out , my son will do the same but even worse he will hate me . HELP PLEASE

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@livving in limbo,

Life is too short to be in the wrong marriage. It sounds like your husband is not interested in making the relationship a happy one, so it is time for both of you to move on. Your older son will have to decide who he wants to live with, but make it clear to him that you love him and are not doing this to hurt anyone - rather you are doing it to save your sanity and find joy in a meaningful, loving relationship. You will have to find the inner strength to get out and make a new life, but it will be worth it. If you think you husband will turn violent you might want to consult with a women's abuse service for help and guidance. Good luck.

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I agree with Green Witch - your husband is obviously not interested in you
or he would act differently towards you. You're both still young enough to
start a new life. Why is your husband not intimate with you? What's the reason
for that?

Our firstborn should be old enough to understand that two people can fall
out of love and go their separate ways. If he chooses to remain with his father
than accept it, but leave the door open for him.

Good luck with your new life, it's bound to be better than what you're living
now.

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How in the heck did you do this for 2 years? No wonder you are exhausted.!

Does this new man feel the same way? If so, gather up the courage and do what you have to do. Your new man should be by your side. Visit an attorney with him so that both of you know what may or may not happen with your husband. A PPO may be in order if you are afraid of violence.

Your older child will come around eventually. He must understand you are not happy with his father, and you need to be with someone who repects and loves you. Don't expect him to understand right away.

Good luck.

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WOW , I was exspecting responceses like " you deserve to be sick to your stomick or maybe your the prob your married and you have to stick it out "Thank youall so much !!!! Wow thank you .

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please please please please do not make the mistake of staying in a marriage " because of the children"

Remember what you are doing in that marriage is how you are teaching YOUR kids to be in THEIR marriage.
No one wants to be in a loveless marriage.

Do not waste yourself, your life and your happiness in a marriage where you are not wanted and YOU are not happy.
There are SOOO many other people out there! Smile

yes! getting a divorce will hurt. Yes yes yes. But ya know what? it is short term.

just think of how happy your husband will be when he has someoen who wants to be with him. who WANTS to touch him and who is happy with what he offers.

just think of how happy YOU will be when YOU are with someone who WANTS to touch you, WANTS to make you happy and finds you to be the most wonderful person on the earth.

leave. And do it with your head high .. Because even if it hurts your husband, you need to know that he will come out better in this by finding someone new and so will you. And that can be a real gift.

Having an affiar can be fun, but having one because your home life is broken is not worth it. That is SO much energy to put into finding what you want.. why not just do it on your own? while you are single?
Life will be leaps and bounds better, just do not let the immediate possibility of the tension of divorce stop you. Expect it and be ready for it so that you can come out the other end ready to live.

I wish you the best of luck Smile

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