I hate skools!!! A moaning thread.

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I do!!!!

I had the worst experience I have had for ages at one today.

I have one of the most disturbed little kids I have ever worked with at this school.

We have managed to get some support staff time for her, as she hurts people often in class and especially in the yard.

So...I am sitting in a half hour meeting where this is announced (hard ******* won, may I say)....and they all turn to me and ask me to give them a "program" for the support person, in the last five minutes of the meeting.

Like...when kid does this, what script should the person use?

I point out that I cannot provide them with a comprehensive directive about what the person should do and say ....but I am very willing to work with said person intensively, providing them with training and support, and develop with them an approach for this little kid as their interaction unfolds.

I say that initially, the person should aim to simply step in when said child is escalating, note that she is becoming agitated, and offer her understanding and empathy, and prevent her from hurting anyone.

I say I am happy to give LOTS of time to the school in working together to develop something that works.

Frustrated, angry stares.

Rolling eyes.

Yes buts to anything I foolishly suggest (hence the offer to work with staff intensively ongoing, when I have so much on my plate already that I am tearing my hair out, as I know that glib and quick suggestions are ALWAYS met with yes buts).

(Rant)

CAN'T THESE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT I CANNOT UNDO SEVEN YEARS OF HORROR WITH A FEW GLIB ANSWERS AND FIX THE KID TOMORROW?

Note: I get the dynamics, I get the desperation.

I get the frustration.

BUT THESE PEOPLE ARE ADULTS.

I hate schools.

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While i understand your frustration, i'd like to point out that things are far, far better than was the case decades ago when you were in school, and a decade or so more when i was in school.

Perhaps this doesn't help, but is this not a situation so much better than would have been the case even as recently as 20 years ago?

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@Setanta,

I'M MOANING DAMMIT

STOP INTERJECTING RATIONALITY.

Anyway, I wouldn't have existed to be abused decades ago when I was in school.

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@dlowan,

I do understand your reaction, Deb.
And I sort of understand the school staff's reaction, too.
It probably looks like yet another band-aid solution to them. Not a reflection of your commitment or your expertise.This student (plus god knows how many others with "behavioral problems") is with them 100% of their work day. They probably spend heaps of time "consulting" her (probably) dysfunctional family, following each episode. Say nothing of reporting to the education authorities, etc, etc, ...
So (from their perspective) they get assistance when the student "acts up". Then back to square 1 till the next episode (while coping with all the rest).
Buggered if I know what the "solution" is. I don't know there actually is one, resources are so stretched in state schools.
But (I suspect) most of these teachers just want to get on with the business of teaching. In a functional environment. Which, of course, is way beyond your brief & way beyond your your control. They are probably very tired & stressed with the whole deal.

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@msolga,

Wow. You've taken the middle ground on this one. I think the people dlowan work with are not listening to what she's saying. Sure, her colleagues are tired and stressed, but they are distracted, and self-centered, too. Dlowan, as it is my understanding, is offering her time and energy and they simply are blowing her off.

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@Gala,

Gala

I wasn't "having a go" at Deb. (If it sounded like that, I'm truly sorry, Deb.) I was trying to give a possible explanation of the teachers' unresponsiveness, for want of a better term. Where they might be coming from - though I agree that the eye rolling, etc, wasn't called for & was quite rude. But who knows what had already been tried before with this particular child & how much time & energy this had involved? Who knows how many classes had been seriously disrupted because of her behaviour? How much distress she had caused to other children, which led no doubt, to meetings with angry, complaining parents, reports to the education authorities, & so on? Who knows how many other children with severe behavioral problems that particular staff was dealing with as well as this troubled girl? I've personally spent many years in schools with lots of "troubled" children. Some where children line up at the general office at lunchtimes for their medication (terrible!) , or exhibit plain dangerous behaviour. As much as intensive help for a particular child could be helpful - & it would probably need to be ongoing, over a long period of time - sometimes, sadly, a school community can find itself completely out of its depth in trying to cope with the fallout of the behaviour of particular individuals. I suspect this staff might have reached that stage with this student.

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@dlowan,

Good moaning.

I understand your frustration. This child's been abused, and learned all kinds of mal-adaptive behaviors, for years. The staff wants to put an end to it with a couple of emotionally-corrective experiences.

This is why I work in a field that does have quick fixes. Everybody's so happy when I come along and fix their computer problem.....

1 Reply

@DrewDad,

Another part of the problem, DrewDad, is that the education authorities who are supposed to be supporting the schools & the children in them, simply don't. They take the attitude that it's the school's problem to deal with "the problem" all to often. The one & only time I was ever hit by a child - a year 9 girl that I hardly knew (I couldn't believe it!) - I was "counseled" by an education department welfare person the next morning & was told that this was the seventh school that this child had been transferred to, after having been suspended by the previous six. It was like pass the parcel. Unbelievable. Something should have been done years ago. I wonder where that girl is now?

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Hang in there, Deb. Your offer of time is way more valuable than any script. Hopefully they'll see that.

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@msolga,

Oh, I didn't think you were having a go at her, at all. I was impressed by your balanced view. Please note, I don't often have balanced view when it comes to adminstration's stepping in and thinking they're solving the problem.

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@msolga,

Oh, I understand, I am just MOANING!!!!!

THOSE BASTARDS!!!!

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@dlowan,

OK then.

Carry on!!!! Wink

(me, I identify way too much with teachers working in impossible situations. I must curb this tendency!)

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@msolga,

msolga wrote:

OK then.

Carry on!!!!

(me, I identify way too much with teachers working in impossible situations. I must curb this tendency!)

Fair enough.

I HATE EVERYBODY,

DOWN WITH SKOOL!

1 Reply

@dlowan,

er ... you're not heading off to another school tomorrow, I hope?

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I can't even imagine being in your position of trying to explain such things in 30 whole minutes!

Once when I was moaning about school someone pointed out to me that when your only tool is a hammer everything looks like a nail and that schools are only given hammers.

I've spent the last four years explaining to Mo's teachers that Mo is a staple and that if they'd just "get" that using a hammer on him makes their job harder we might make some progress. I've bought them staplers and sat down with them to teach them how to use it. But still the stapler gets shoved to the back of the drawer.

I know that when the teacher is dealing with 27 nails that the 1 staple can't take up all of her time, that it's easier to just use the hammer. I know they have to be fair and equal in their treatment of all the kids in the class.

I just wish they'd understand that Mo and all the other staples aren't going to magically moph into nails.

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@msolga,

Yes, I am.

THAT one wants a "guarantee" he won't do what he did ever agaion before they let him back into the school.

Yes, I carry a ceystal ball.

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@dlowan,

Oh dear!

Oh no!

Well good luck, Deb!

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@boomerang,

Yes...I am especially frustrated in that:

a. I HAVE been pretty nearly giving "scripts" to staff working with another very disturbed kid at that school for nearly two years....with quite a lot of success. (Different principal, but some of the same other staff.)

b. I have given several hours of formal training at the same school, both on these kids in general, and on another kid in particular, who is being managed very successfully.

c, I have given a lot of material to the school, and pointed out again and again and again that their department paid a fortune for a training package for them which they can all access online in how to understand and deal with these very kids. NONE of them has accessed it, nor appears capable of recalling it every time I mention it.

d. On more than one occasion I have agreed to give further training and support to staff, turned up, only to find the management person who was supposed to organise it forgot. That's a round trip for me of about 90 minutes each time.

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@dlowan,

The forst two sound like successes. 3 and 4 not.

What do you say to these people when they don't bther with the material?

When the management person "forgets" what do you do?

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@dlowan,

Quote:

On more than one occasion I have agreed to give further training and support to staff, turned up, only to find the management person who was supposed to organise it forgot. That's a round trip for me of about 90 minutes each time.

I think we might have the culprit at that school!

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I hate skools!!! A moaning thread.

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