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Tue 14 Oct, 2003 03:10 pm
NEWSFLASH
President Bush and the C.I.A in association with Prime Minister Blair have today issued a terrorism warning, the sources of which cannot be revealed for reasons of National Security, that the West is facing a new and vicious threat of terrorist atrocities over the Christmas period.
The perpetrator, who is believed to have close connections with Osama bin Laden, Al-Qaeda, Saddam Hussein and Iran, is reported to be seeking to enter various Western nations on a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer and loaded with numerous packages containing nuclear, chemical and biological weapons disguised as Christmas presents.
The general public should be on constant alert for the appearance of this evil terrorist and paedophile - and should report any sightings to their local police. He is known to use a variety of aliases and disguises, but has been most commonly seen wearing a long white beard, red suit and inviting young children to sit on his lap.
Defense Secretary Rumsfeld has denied reports that troops have been seen assembling for an invasion of the North Pole, asking "Have they got any oil?". 
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