Husband's New Coworker more than business?

Forums: Relationships, Work, Marriage, Cheating, Woman
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Well where shall I begin? my husband of four years hired a female worker to attract males into his sales store. He began befriending her rather qucikly after a week, offering to help her pay her rent, getting involved in her domestic disputes with her boyfriend and etc.. He wanted me to befriend her as well and I did take to her for two weeks, until her true colors came to the surface.. He also tried to convince me to allow her to move with us, since she couldnt pay her rent. He took her shopping on his "bosses" expense. He admitted to me one night that he cared for her deeply. She also picks him up from work daily and drops him off. I have asked her to back off and keep it professional and it appears they both dont want that to happen. i notice a change ever since he met this woman, he wants more freedom like a bachelor. The last straw was when she took him shopping instead of being at work. I pretty much told him, its our family or her. and said it not that easy. I truly believe he has feelings for this woman and just stringing me along. I dont feel this relationship is inapporiate. am I over react or my feelings justified?

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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 2,494 • Replies: 11

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I assure you, that you are definitely not over reacting.......you know what to do.

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@jocelynmonet,

There is little doubt in the world that he's cheating. Given that he isn't respecting your concerns, it may be that he thinks he's being subtle about the affair.

By the way - unfortunately, you've made an ultimatum to him - never do that unless you are prepared to back it up...other he loses respect for you (and you lose respect for yourself)...in many/most cases your continuing to stay with him after giving him that ultimatum equals approval for him to keep doing that sort of stuff (in his mind - because you're not going to follow through, so he might as well have fun and have you too)

Personally, I think only a counsellor and a willingness on his part to end the affair (which would mean firing her too, which will probably be bad for his business) will save things...depends on what he thinks is more valuable to him.

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@jocelynmonet,

Wow! She's good. She's got him wrapped up tightly and knows just how to play him. He's being a fool, but that's his choice. You've pointed it out to him, you've expressed your displeasure, you stopped short of having her share your living space (good for you), and he's said he isn't able to choose between the two of you.

Do you have children? If not, I'd be talking to a lawyer immediately. If so, things are a bit more complicated but probably all the more reason to get some legal advice. Are you an officer in the business? Get your bearings and be very careful about making empty threats or ultimatums.

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I'd venture a guess your husband knew this woman before she started working for him.
He just gave her a job so they can canoodle during the day.

Hiring her to attract men to his salesforce?

What kind of BS is that?

oh yeah, men are going to go to work for your husband because he has a woman working there.

I have to honestly say I have never heard of a person taking a job because some random member of the opposite sex happens to work there.

how big are her tits?

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@chai2,

I think she's supposed to attract customers, not salespeople.

Maybe I'm wrong.

She definitely sounds like a piece of work, though.

There might not even be any sex going on. She could be just taking him for a ride, flirting and making him feel attractive.

Dude needs someone to kick his butt.

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@chai2,

sales store not sales force

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@chai2,

Quote:

how big are her tits?

Cut to the chase, will ya?

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@jocelynmonet,

Lady- do something. She's gonna throw you out of your own home soon, while u are confused, sitting on your ass farting. Move out of your comfort zone, and do whatever it takes to make her leave your home.
I know I'm little rude, but you know what's rude? Filing a divorce or living single, meeting kids only on the weekend. Been there, done that, sharing experience.

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@jocelynmonet,

jocelynmonet wrote:

I truly believe he has feelings for this woman and just stringing me along.

Hello Jocelyn,

You are feeling that he's stringing you along and he surely is. Don't wait for
him to humiliate you even further; take matters in your own hand and show
him that you mean business. Open your own bank account, talk to a lawyer
and have your husband serve divorce papers. Your husband might have
fallen out of love with you, but to show absolutely no respect towards you,
is inexcusable. Like every dignified person, you deserve better than this.

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Joc - how old are you and your husband?

Is he getting flattered by this gal and she is using him for clothing, etc. ?

He could be going through a male menopause.

Ask him if he will go to counseling with you. If he declines, then he's told you what he wants.

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@DrewDad,

Quote:

Dude needs someone to kick his butt.

I doubt it is that kind of relationship. Not everyone is into that kind of thing.

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Husband's New Coworker more than business?

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