16
   

lesbian or not????

 
 
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2009 12:17 pm
If she were my daughter I would have her taken to the outside of my village, buried up to her neck and then stoned to death. We absolutely must preserve the sanctity of heterosexual marriage.
Nevermind
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2009 12:25 pm
@dyslexia,
Honestly, a lot of you are making light of this but in reality gay or straight someone that young shouldn't be too caught up in dating and all that. I have family members who had girlfriends/boyfriends very young, their actually parents encouraged it. They grew up too fast and really don't have any type of career-goals now that they're in their late 20's. They spent too much time on teenage love drama and not enough time developing themselves as individuals.
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2009 12:28 pm
@Nevermind,
yeah, life just ain't the way it was when we were growing up, the end must be near. I hope you don't allow her the use of a cell phone, that's the first sign.
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2009 12:36 pm
@joefromchicago,
This was one of your finer efforts, Joe.
0 Replies
 
Nevermind
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2009 12:36 pm
@dyslexia,
Sarcasm is only funny when it's accurate. I'm actually probably half your age, I'm talking as someone from the "young" generation.

Maybe I know too many people who got married and had kids way too young and now have to deal with all the ramifications of that. Teenage relationships are RIDICULOUS and no parent should encourage it, whether it's gay, straight, whatever IMO.
parados
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2009 12:40 pm
@Nevermind,
Quote:
Teenage relationships are RIDICULOUS and no parent should encourage it, whether it's gay, straight, whatever IMO.


After Romeo and Juliet it became easy for parents to discourage relationships.
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2009 12:46 pm
Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married

Just Married, Just Married...
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Signed Dear Abby . . .
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2009 12:54 pm
"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words. When I was a boy, we were taught to be discrete and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise [that is, sassy] and impatient of restraint."

attributed to Hesiod, 8th century before the current era . . .

Plus ca change . . .
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2009 01:12 pm
@Nevermind,
Nevermind wrote:

Honestly, a lot of you are making light of this but in reality gay or straight someone that young shouldn't be too caught up in dating and all that. I have family members who had girlfriends/boyfriends very young, their actually parents encouraged it. They grew up too fast and really don't have any type of career-goals now that they're in their late 20's. They spent too much time on teenage love drama and not enough time developing themselves as individuals.


If we're making light of it, it's because we're all saying it isn't a big deal.

When I started meeting my step daughters friends over time, I kept thinking that these where the finest bunch of young women I'd had the pleasure of meeting.
Some are quite butch, others quite fem. A few of them, when going out on the town, are a hell of a lot sexier looking than many hetero girls I've seen going out.

My my perspective, girls dating girls doesn't produce that lack of career ambition you speak of. They all seems to have some pretty ambitious goals and the gumption to go after them.
They couldn't get away with the stance that "oh, I'm dating this wonderful guy and he'll take care of me"
It's more like "don't tell me you can't do that, any woman can"

When step daughter came out, I'd already figured out 5 or 6 years before she was gay.
When she made it "official" to the family, my first thought was "Oh, this is great. Now she'll never have a baby because that's what's expected of her. If she has one, it's because she wants one."
Her fathers first, and only thought on the subject was "I don't ever want this from keeping her from getting whatever job she wants"

It floors me that a parent could not accept their child for who they are. The one's who disown them are the worst. Way to teach your kid unconditional love mom and dad.
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2009 01:51 pm
@Cycloptichorn,
Quote:
Is there even a problem with this, to be dealt with? I'm afraid I don't understand.


That's not much help to katsue Cyclo. She has the problem and you not understanding it, which I doubt, is neither here nor there.

0 Replies
 
Nevermind
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2009 05:26 pm
@chai2,
Quote:
They couldn't get away with the stance that "oh, I'm dating this wonderful guy and he'll take care of me"
It's more like "don't tell me you can't do that, any woman can"


That's true, I guess they don't have to worry about pregnancy and whatnot, and maybe they have a different attitude about things. There's still emotional issues though that most kids can't handle at that age.

I guess I'm just always so amazed how many parents encourage their young kids to play house so early. I remember my nephew was only maybe 13 and was encouraged by my sister to give some type of jewelry to the girl he was "dating" --- It seemed crazy to me.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2009 07:39 pm
@Nevermind,
That's not playing house.
Nevermind
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Aug, 2009 11:26 pm
@chai2,
Whatever you want to call it, it's still encouraging kids to have adult relationships.

Anyway, I'm glad we helped the original poster so much. Razz

It seems like a lot of people post a question but don't come back. Maybe they hated the answers, or they're using other names for privacy.
aidan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 Aug, 2009 01:25 am
@Nevermind,
This is the original post:
Quote:
how do i, as a mother, deal with a 15 year old daughter who's only "close " friends are lesbians?


Quote:
Maybe they hated the answers, or they're using other names for privacy.


Or maybe she liked the answers and got what she needed from them. Maybe one of her concerns was that if her daughter is friends with girls who were lesbians that automatically means her daughter is a lesbian - not necessarily so.

I certainly wouldn't have encouraged any adult or sexual relationships between fifteen year olds- but that's not what the question was about.
In fact, maybe the original poster wants her daughter to have a boyfriend and is worried that she doesn't, and that's what prompted the post.
Obviously it concerns her that her daughter is close with girls as opposed to boys.

One thing I've learned from having two teenagers, is that if your kid is gonna do something, after about the age of fifteen, they're gonna do it whether they think you approve or not.
If you want to be able to know what they're doing, it's better to approach them with the attitude that lets them know, 'Whatever is going on, we can work through trying to understand it,' rather than 'If you happen to be gay - it will KILL me- I won't be able to handle it.'

I'm not in the camp that if the girl is gay it's no big deal because her life and your life will be the same as if she weren't. Because I know that if the girl is gay, she will have very different issues and experiences than if she's not.
So if your child is gay - it would be good to be aware of that.

But the original question was, 'How do I deal with a fifteen year old whose only close friends are lesbians?'
A lot will depend on what someone's feelings about lesbians are.
And every experience is so individual - it's hard to tell anyone how to deal with anything.
0 Replies
 
 

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