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Can a father prevent his daughter from marrying?

 
 
Reply Fri 7 Aug, 2009 07:53 am
A young man has proposed marriage to my 26 year old daughter ( he spoke to her father). He is a good Muslim and prays and fasts, he is a telecommunications engineer and his reputation is good. At first her father agreed to the marriage but now he refuses to give his consent and says that because he brought her up and educated her she must marry the man he chooses or not marry at all, and that he no longer considers her as his daughter because she dared to express her wish to marry this man! Please tell me if he has the right to do this, I mean to make her marry only someone he wishes with no regard for her opinion and prevent her from marrying someone of her choice. Jezekom Allah 5ir. I await a speedy answer because I don't know how to cope with this situation!
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 1,891 • Replies: 10
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DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Fri 7 Aug, 2009 07:57 am
In what country do you and your daughter reside?
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CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Fri 7 Aug, 2009 08:42 am
@ceajallo,
She is 26 years old, an adult and able to make her own decision!
The father (you) brought her up and educated her - that's what all parents
are supposed to do, however, when they're adults they need to live their own
life and this includes choosing their husband or wife. Your job is done!
Be happy that your daughter has chosen a good man who also obeys by your
religious rules. Don't interfere with her happiness - it will haunt you otherwise!
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 7 Aug, 2009 10:45 am
@CalamityJane,
CJ, I think the original poster is the young woman's mother.

~~~

Welcome to able2know, ceajallo.

What country does your daughter live in?
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BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Fri 7 Aug, 2009 11:18 am
If the young woman live in the west either the US/Canada or Europe then no she can do as she wish legally however even in the West there had been honor killings so she might need ongoing protection from her own family as sad as that might be.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 7 Aug, 2009 11:25 am
@BillRM,
Too true. There is a case in Eastern Ontario right now where this may have been the case.
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fresco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2009 12:55 am
Quote:
Can a father prevent his daughter from marrying?


I notice the word "legally" as in legally prevent is absent, in which case the answer to the question is no. Religious chauvinism and social psychology often hold sway over the concept of "rights".
fresco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2009 01:16 am
@fresco,
Sorry, the answer to the non-legal question is "yes".

(I meant to say that that the marriage can be prevented and the "negative situation" caused the "no")
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2009 01:53 am
@fresco,
You are wrong as the father had no ability beyond the one that the daughter grant him to stop the marriage.

If she is willing to pay the price of having a break with her family to start her own then he is powerless in the west to stop her.

In my own family history my father needed to break with his family over his choice of mate to the point he did not even know when his mother pass away.

The marriage was happy and last 55 years even if he I am sure had an unhappy place in his heart over the situation.

Of course she would be burning her bridges but sometime that is a needed thing to do and I would not be on this earth if my father had not been willing to do so.
fresco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2009 02:16 am
@BillRM,
I agree that it's all a matter of "perceived social price".
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2009 02:46 am
@fresco,
I agree that it's all a matter of "perceived social price".
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By paying that price she would be giving a great gift to her future children in freeing them and all the generation that would follow from a culture that would consider women less then human and in fact property.

The price only need to be pay once.
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