Before you read this, just a thought for you " it seems that all the symptoms you’ve listed below, result from fear.
Fear, in terms of how others affect us, stems in great deal, from lack of self esteem.
Fear can also be a learned response (ie automatic response) to associated triggers. Often the learned response can outlive it’s usefulness to us, and hold us back from growing as people. We need to replace one habit (ie. One learned response) with a newer, better, habit.
Fear triggers the fight, flight, or freeze response.
In relation to the fight response : there’s a very old saying “What you fight, you grow attached to”. And another “The more force you exert against something, the more force is used to fight you”. Basically, fighting something, even yourself, results in attachment to the thing you fight...and the more effort you exert fighting it, the stronger that attachment grows.
Flight of course puts the problem off till another day, and freeze just fails to deal with the issue.
Yet, there is an in between path that can be found, where you accept your fears, emotions, and yourself...you make decisions knowing they may not be perfect, but it’s the best decision you can make...you choose to face the consequences come what may...and you know that the next time, you will do better, for you grow into a better and better person every day...
“Control”, of the type you would really like, rather than happening through fighting for control...it comes through understanding, acceptance, and guidance.
Fear, disipates as you become truer to yourself, you find yourself, based not on what others think of you, but on what you think of you...accepting your strength and weaknesses, and working each day towards a better you...knowing you’ll never be perfect.