Wed 8 Oct, 2003 04:24 am
There was this blonde city-girl who was out driving and found
herself in a rural area. She noted a farm animal standing next to
a farmer and stopped the car to ask the farmer a question.
"Sir," she inquired, "Why doesn't this cow have any horns?"
The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone:
"Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of
damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a
hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin'
a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and
that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle
that never grow horns."But the reason this cow don't have no horns,
ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."
A police officer was driving down the road, when he noticed a car ahead on the road being driven irratically. The car was violently swerving all over! So the police officer turned on his lights and squawked the siren, pulling the irratic driver to the side of the road. When he approached, before he could say anything, the blonde driver grabbed him by the collar, sreaming ":Thank you! Thank you! You saved my life! I was driving and suddenly there was a tree -- so I swerved and there was another tre! I swerved again, and there was another tree! They jsut kept popping out of nowhere! What should I do?"
The cop said "Calm down, please." and he reached into the cabin of the vehicle and removed the air freshener.
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and
help me. I have a very tough jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to
get it started. "He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets
him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then
turns to her
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says,
"Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and
he sighed, let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."