Caption The Cartoon

"Governor, I think it wise to reconsider the state's immigration policies. Quickly!"

OK! I surrender! Now call off the Cherokee S.W.A.T. team!

But I already TOLD them I had nothing to do with the way Dances with Wolves ended!

Benny, I need a loan. The collection agents from Mohegan Sun are here.

Yowza!

...level 34, 3rd office on the left, behind the desk.
Just follow the arrows.

I ain't using no goddamn politically incorrect cliche!! I'm telling you they've literally strayed off the reservation!!!

I tried to explain that we're General Motors, not General Custer,
but they just won't listen

Hello? Helpdesk? My monitor isn't working.

Of course I called the helpdesk - but guess where they were outsourced to?

You're not quite right hinge

Hello, Manpower Agency? This is the HR manager at Target Stores. When we requested more straight-arrow worker types for our inventory count, this is NOT what we had in mind!

Yeah, well I appreciate the fact that you're the only temp agency that deals with minor deities, but we here at the Match.com Wyoming branch only want to interview one potential Cupid at a time.

I confess to being inspired by this old classic:

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm, so what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

I can't talk right now. I'm in the middle of a performance review.

John Wayne's dead? Damn! And Clint Eastwood's in Japan? No, don't send Mel Gibson, I've already offended them enough.

Hello, is that Acme Air Conditioning? Good. This is the showroom at Aardvark Archery Equipment - guess what happens when you break the knob off the thermostat?

All right, all right! I'll stop ending all my jokes with "Get the point?"