"So...he goes 'Presto' and me parrot just disappears! I say "Where's me parrot!?' He goes 'For my next trick...' I say 'Next trick me ass, where's me parrot!?' He goes 'Watch me pull a rabbit out of me hat!' That lass is now fish food. So, how ya like me rabbit and me new hat?"
Ladies and gentlemen, please pay attention to your catalogues - the next item up for auction is Lot 99, one dead conjurer's assistant in oak coffin, circa 1845