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who is the woman in my marraige?

 
 
Reply Wed 1 Jul, 2009 06:58 am
12 years married. 11 year problem. He ALWAYS needs foreplay. He lies still w closed eyes while rubbing my back then i jump on when he is ready. he goes soft fast, so i miss out twice (foreplay and orgasm) he is 400lbs (his body grew but the penis didnt) they only way i feel it now is me on top. for 10 yrs now i have tried different ways to tell him i would like some foreplay or maybe he could be more responsive during his. he gets angry, childish, tells me i am selfish and makes me sleep on the couch. i get the same response when i tell him no to his nightly fantasy. he wants to wear girls panties and for me to "**** his ass" while he pretends to be a woman. i am open minded and dont mind pleasing him in this manner to spice things up every few months. he wants to be treated like this every day, sneaks panties under his clothes and wears them all day, and has stronger orgasms from his anus. i feel like i am missing out or he is gay. he tries to please me w foreplay or oral sex every few months to spice things up. when i tell him i like it and ask for more he says i am selfish and make sex too much work. he says there is no "normal" sex. he refuses to seek therapy. i don't believe in divorce. i just fantasize we are having sex like the first year we were together in order to reach orgasm. what bothers me the most....why does he go flacid almost the second my vagina touches his penis? he doesnt even give up when it does and tells me to keep going till it gets hard again; then he cums without me. in life he is not selfish, in sex he is. he is aries and has a temper. never hit me, but he throws stuff and yells like a child. he is overly emotional in all regards. i find that i am emotionally boring, i have to talk myself into getting angry. where do i go from here?
-left out
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 1,884 • Replies: 18
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Green Witch
 
  2  
Reply Wed 1 Jul, 2009 08:17 am
@rachaels77,
Divorce is legal in all 50 states. I got grossed out just reading what you wrote. Why do you put up with this loser?
NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Jul, 2009 09:27 am
He sounds like a sicko. Don't give him any sex until he him loses 200 pounds. Bu divorce him first.
0 Replies
 
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Jul, 2009 09:42 am
@Green Witch,
NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT, just dont invite me over. I cant get past stoking up the 400 pounds of man meat.
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Jul, 2009 09:47 am
@farmerman,
Are you sure there is nothing wrong with this?????:

http://i115.photobucket.com/albums/n314/gmorgan4/fat_guy_in_girl_underwear.jpg
farmerman
 
  0  
Reply Wed 1 Jul, 2009 09:55 am
@Green Witch,
hes just flossin his ass,
0 Replies
 
Diest TKO
 
  0  
Reply Wed 1 Jul, 2009 11:39 am
@Green Witch,
http://img.timeinc.net/time/daily/2007/0701/borat_lebanon0109.jpg
I Like!

T
Keep the light off.
O

0 Replies
 
High Seas
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 03:37 pm
@farmerman,
Farmerman - the original poster here is really suffering, and you have a background in biology, so maybe you can help her. As far as statistics, Rachel is correct in her title - the correlation between gross obesity and elevated levels of female hormones is very high.

Here's an abstract of a medical article with an overview of the biochemical mechanism involved:

Quote:
Abstract
Massive obesity in males is associated with decreased total and free testosterone levels as well as elevated estradiol levels. The decrease in testosterone occurs without the compensatory increases in gonadotropin and a progressive hypogonadotropic hypogonadal cycle develops. During the hypogonadal state, there is a preferential deposition of abdominal adipose tissue.

With the increasing fatty-tissue accumulation, there is an increase of aromatase activity that is associated with a greater conversion of testosterone to estradiol (testosterone"estradiol shunt). This results in further depression of testosterone concentrations and leads to the increased preferential deposition of abdominal fat that, in turn, leads to a progressive hypogonadal state.

Testalactone, an aromatase inhibitor, interrupts this cycle and repairs the depressed testosterone concentrations and decreases estradiol levels. This increases the testosterone levels and reverses the preferential deposition of abdominal fat, while increasing muscle protein and fat-free mass.

http://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S0306987797906241

Rachel - we are sorry if some of the previous posters seemed rude. Your life doesn't seem to have been easy in recent years; can you get your husband to a medic for blood tests? Print the article Abstract, they'll know what tests to run. Good luck.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 04:39 pm
@rachaels77,
Regardless of his weight, he is a selfish bastard. Sex is between TWO people, not one. Get him some porn magazines and tell him to do himself. I would not be in that bed at any time whatsoever. He is selfish and greedy and inconsiderate and thoughtless. Plus, he's fat. What's your question again?
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 04:40 pm
@Green Witch,
That is priceless! Where in the world do you keep coming up with these gems?
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 04:40 pm
@Green Witch,
Oh, and I don't think his ass is fat enough. This guy only weighs about 270, right? lol
panzade
 
  0  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 05:17 pm
@Mame,
Green Witch keeps posting pictures of me!
Stop it!http://img196.imageshack.us/img196/6590/obese.jpg
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 05:30 pm
A food addiction is just as serious as a drug addiction and it too can cause extreme emotional reactions over.. nothing.

Where do you go from here?
well, if you choose to keep abusing yourself by staying there.. then by all means go to a therapist. But divorce is not a measure of failure, or a measure of who you are.
why are you are choosing to abuse yourself by staying some where , where you are not wanted, and the person you are with is choosing to do nothing FOR you.

We choose and accept the love we think we deserve.

He is loving you like ****.


My advice would be to separate.
Why?
because addiction requires many changes that one can not always do when part of the addiction is right in front of them. You are contributing to his addiction by staying in a marriage and continuing to "love him" and give him what he wants. He has no consequences... sort of enabling if you choose..

Get out. Really.
It does not have to end in divorce if you choose not to go that route, but being apart from him will give him a wake up call. maybe.
And if he is gay, well, he wont love you anyway. You are a woman. Not what he wants.

I see nothing but dead ends here. But i am just an outsider..
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 05:55 pm
@shewolfnm,
mighty good post
0 Replies
 
sullyfish6
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 07:18 pm
Hey - anything between 2 consenting adults is private and permissable, I think.

I also think this has been going on for some time, and she is JUST now objecting to it 'cause she's not getting her's.

If you stay with him, then he must play these games fair. And that means insisitng that he pleasure you FIRST, then he gets what he wants.

If this is no longer fun for you, then either change the games or get out of this marriage.

Mame
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2009 12:38 pm
@sullyfish6,
Are you LoneStarMadam, by any chance?
0 Replies
 
High Seas
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2009 02:51 pm
@shewolfnm,
shewolfnm wrote:

A food addiction is just as serious as a drug addiction .............


Surely not for the other party! Given a choice between getting close to someone who regularly uses cocaine, or to someone weighing 400 lbs, no woman of sound mind will hesitate for even a millisecond. Rachel here felt bound by her marriage vows - in sickness and in health and so on.

I'm wondering if she's reading our posts, and, if so, whether she will come back and reply - I'm just curious to find out where, exactly, a 400-pound man can possibly find frilly ladies' underwear in his size. Sorry if that's too much levity for this thread!
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2009 03:04 pm
@High Seas,


Quote:
a 400-pound man can possibly find frilly ladies' underwear in his size. Sorry if that's too much levity for this thread!


Of course he can:

http://www.hipsandcurves.com/?gclid=CN69konGzpsCFVeE7Qodjj7JJg
High Seas
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2009 03:16 pm
@Green Witch,
Green Witch - if I hadn't seen this I wouldn't have believed it. Read the "Tips for Men" section - but the website logically assumes the men would buy the stuff for their women..... Anyway, their model can't be anywhere near 400 lbs:

http://www.hipsandcurves.com/images/headers/hdr_size-charts.jpg
0 Replies
 
 

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