Huge mistake getting married

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I have been in a relationship for 5 years, just got married 3 weeks ago and returned from my honeymoon with enormous concerns. My husband's immediate family tried everything to ruin a perfect wedding. They all left such a horrible impression with their poor behavior. Our wedding night was a nightmare, after I approached my new husband with this serious issue. My husband is siding with them and he refuses to hear me out after discussing these ongoing issues along with other concerns we are now facing at home.

My husband is an exceptional friend and very generous. He is a great person but very reserved and boring. I am 11 years younger with a great outlook, very optimistic and outgoing, not to mention my beauty inside and out.

This is the tricky part: I have always been faithful throughout my 5 yr relationship. For many years, I have harbored my bi-sexual tendencies for the sake of keeping a respectful relationship until recently. I was introduced to an incredible woman 1 week ago by a mutual friend. We hit it off and the sparks went off the charts. My physical attraction to this woman was intense. We never passed 2nd base but the conversations and amazing kissing took me on a tail spin. She was visiting from overseas and I may not see her for a long while or not ever. I cant seem to get her out of my mind but this too shall pass.
The end was bitter sweet. The bigger problem is that I have awaken the beast inside of me and now I have another dilemma to face at home. I know that I can never confess and express this torment and infidelity to my husband, especially by sexual desires. I have been tormented for many years, closeted by choice just to keep a normal relationship, but after this past week, I have greater concerns about my own sexual preference and overall happiness. My GOD..what in the world am I going to do now?.

I love my spouse but I have never been passionately in love with him. I cant believe a woman unleashed all my desires..... I really need intelligent advise....please feel free to express your thoughts.
Thank you.

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geeesh.........why did you bother to get married, bit of a sticky situation you have yourself in....the answer is quite simple, leave your husband to explore your whatever.. or refrain from temptation and at least try and give your marriage a chance...its only just begun for gaawds sake!

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@Readyornot,

A major mistake should be put right sooner, not later. Your marriage was a mistake. A big one. Your husband's family clearly feel you are not right for him. They are right. I pity him more than you. You are vain and selfish. Vain - you say you have "beauty inside and out". Selfish - you went to "second base" (whatever that is) with a woman only 2 weeks after you got married!

Your thinking is muddled and/or dishonest: you wrote "I have always been faithful throughout my 5 yr relationship." and straight away mentioned canoodling with a woman!

Your marriage will never be happy. What you should do is:

1. Tell your husband that you made a mistake in marrying him, that you only love him as a friend, that you are at least bisexual and may be a lesbian, that you fooled around with a woman 2 weeks into your marriage, that you are moving out and that you will be seeking a divorce.

2. Move out and see a lawyer.

If you do not have the courage to do these things now, my guess is that as time passes you will be forced to do them anyway.

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@Readyornot,

Hi there. I'm a little unclear about what your concerns really are because they seem twofold: your sexual preferences and his family.

Maybe if you wrote everything down, things would be clearer to you. Try to discover what it is that you want, what would make you happy.

If you're not happy, you shouldn't be there. End of story. You maybe shouldn't have gotten married, but you did. It's not irreversible and divorce is no longer stigmatized.

You only have one life and you're the only one living it. It's up to you to do what you need to do to be happy and fulfilled.

On the issue with his family, you don't say how they tried to ruin your wedding, or why. Or why your wedding night was a nightmare.

Life is too short to not be happy and fulfilled.

Best of luck to you.

1 Reply

@Mame,

You might be able to annul the marriage instead of getting a divorce. If that was the case, does it change your thinking?

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I am 11 years younger with a great outlook, very optimistic and outgoing, not to mention my beauty inside and out.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guys read the above and tell me this is a woman that wrote this and not some middle age man playing games.

No woman ever born would write "not to mention my beauty inside and out" their minds does not work in that manner this is a male writer.

3 Replies

@BillRM,

I have met women who could plausibly have written that. I married one.

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@BillRM,

Actually, I got the distinct impression that this was written by the guy as well.

It just doesn't read like a woman thinks. It reads like what a man thinks a woman thinks.

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Thank you for all your feedback. This is a college student working on how
the human mind reacts to a life crisis. The topic was an interest to many students on campus. I just added a few scenerios for a bit of flavor.
No need to offend the reader. I am a bi- female but still learning about life.
Thanks again.

1 Reply

@Readyornot,

You're welcome and thanks for wasting my time.

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Readyornot: You might want to check with your instructor before you do this again. Most of the social sciences have rather strict ethical guidelines on research on humans, which is what you were doing here: positing a situation and seeing how people react is in fact human experimentation. Informed consent comes in here. Before you do the test, most disciplines say people should know they are being tested and consent to that. They may not know what they're being tested for, but ethically you tell them they're being tested.

Also I would suspect that something like this, deliberate falsification, is a violation of the Terms of Service of most similar sites to a2k.

Simple curiosity is not sufficient justification.

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@MontereyJack,

To be fair there are any number of human studies that both used humans and lied to the subjects in one manner or another.

Still I am surprise that more of you did not see this was a false post to start with and I am not giving a great deal of credit to the claim that this was some form of a study as it seem unlikely for a number of reasons.

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@BillRM,

Quote:

Still I am surprise that more of you did not see this was a false post to start with

I must say I thought that the language & prose style seemed a little odd, a little forced, a little rehearsed, but I put that down to the poster maybe either not being a native English speaker or being someone who gets their ideas from trashy fiction or magazines.

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A lot of relationship thread questions at a2k and other sites can be made up - as many of us have long since learned. A lot of us try to answer them anyway because people with a real life problem similar to the possibly faux-question may be helped by some of the a2k responses. Still, I was happy enough to have the nature of the post clarified in this particular thread.

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@BillRM,

I am really curious how you made it out, BillRM. Very interesting.

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@spidergal,

Quote:

I am really curious how you made it out, BillRM. Very interesting.

ex post facto, I expect

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@spidergal,

I am really curious how you made it out, BillRM. Very interesting.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
As I said already Spidergal no real woman even if she is a super model would likely write that she is beautiful inside and out.

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@Readyornot,

look we all have desires in life and some are good and some are ...

so how do we handle it...do u think that it will help keeping it a secret or will it be better tellinh him

if my wife tells me that it means she wnAts something more..eithetr im boring her she she want to have KINKY fun with me

what if u guys have a 3some oe you and him have to spice up not only ur sexual lives but as well as social lives!

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Huge mistake getting married

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