Dating again

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Was wondering how some of you deal with this? My last relationship was 2 years ago and I had a short/brief relationship afterwards. I'm back on the dating scene again but can't seem to find anyone I'm attracted to physically. I find myself looking for physical features that were like my ex!!!! I have a certain type and my ex fitted that exactly. I seem to go with what I recognise visually. It's totally weird. Do any of you get this?

I'm now going on a second date with a guy who has made his feelings quite clear and that he really likes me. Because I'm not sure about him it feels like it's all beginning to move far too quickly. I'm worried in case he goes in for 'the kiss' and I won't be able to reciprocate.

People say that love can kind of grow on you and I'm wondering if that might happen. Maybe I'm comparing him to my ex. Yet I know there are guys I am attracted to (unavailable unfortunately) so it can't be that I'm unable to find any guy. I'm not turning asexual.

Also, should I know by the end of this second date if I fancy him? Should I see him again? I'm not quite sure what to say to him. I remember there was a guy at school who I wasn't sure about and we started dating. I became quite attached and love grew. It's this reminder that keeps me from saying I don't want to go on a date with him anymore. We've both had a lot of problems in our previous relationships and we have been able to talk to eachother about them and empathise.

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@miranda4,

Well a few questions leap out immediately, such as how old are you and how long was your relationship with the big ex?

Sounds like you're not totally over him. I don't think there's anything wrong with, say, just liking blonds, but comparisons are inevitably unfair.

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@jespah,

I'm in my mid thirties and i met the ex in my teens. Spaced over 12 years we had a break in between of 4 years. On, off, on. Back to off for good. Could never go back after realising it was all wrong.

The bit you mentioned about the 'still don't think you're over him' scares me. The fact I can't feel attracted to that many men worries me............I look at them all on dating sites and honestly can't find one that clicks or who I think 'Hey, he's good looking'.

However sometimes when I'm out and about I'll see a few. Maybe I shouldn't be on the sites? I'm pretty certain at times that the ex has some kind of hold on me. Looking back the relationship was quite emotionally abusive. Didn't realise until it was too late and it went too far!!

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@miranda4,

Well, I think looking for love is in some ways like looking for a job (sounds cynical, but hear me out). As in, you need to look in a lot of different and creative places and ways. Look online, look in person. Join a club, go to church, work out at a gym, volunteer, network, smile at your neighbors, etc. etc. etc.

It's also possible that the guys you're seeing on that site (sites?) are butt ugly, yanno. Smile

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Dating again

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