How to get on good terms with my boyfriends mom again?

maybe if you didn't fight with your boyfriend he wouldn't have any "business" to tell his mother.

if there is that much arguing going on, it doesn't say much for your relationship.

your boyfriend can decide for himself what he wants to discuss with his mother. You're not his wife, and blood is thicker than water.

I've read your thread here about this situation and other threads on this relationship. Frankly, I think you both need some time to mature before being in a committed relationship. You'll both benefit from seeing others and learning more about what having an adult committed relationship is about. The things with which you're both having trouble have to do with needing more experience and maturity. I offer this advice because your other threads indicate you both are having diffculty working out how much freedom your're willing to extend to the other person. You both are dealing with some self confidence issues - a normal part of the process of maturing.

Please understand that these issues in and of themselves are not a bad thing at all. Learning and growth are good. I really don't mean this advice to sound harsh, so I hope you won't react defensively. This relationship really shouldn't be an exclusive one based on your comments.

BTW, re his mother: His mother may seem to be interfering to you, but she knows her son needs to mature and she is encouraging him not to lose his focus and to remember and participate in other important relationships, too. However, if she is being rude to you, that is not right, either. He clearly isn't ready to settle down in an exclusive relationship. My guess is that she's trying to look out for his best interests.

try to buy her heart. I mean, try gaining her trust and love by doing something special for her like volunteer to do the laundry or house chores. Buy her something nice, I am sure she will learn to let go later.

You're absolutely right to have boundaries.

However, being the person to introduce boundaries and enforce them is going to make you unpopular. Change is not generally welcomed.

Think of what you're taking away from her. Do you expect her to act any differently?


Seriously, you don't know what's causing the problem?

As for whether or not you're right to 'put up boundaries', I wouldn't go so far as to say either way. It's not a right or wrong issue, but a compatibility issue.

As an aside, if his mother is objective, she may actually provide him with good advice that can help your relationship with your boyfriend go smoother.

Ahahahahahahaha! Good one!

heheh

You are upsetting the apple cart: you are involved with a guy that is very close with his mother and now you want that relationahip to change.

Your boyfriend needs to set the boundaries about what he is talking to his mother about. You don't say how old you are, but be very careful about how much distance you require this guy to have with his mother. My daughter broke up her 10 year relationship because of a mother problem. And he's a 40 year old Doctor!!

Hi...I need some advice...I am with my bf prob 7 mths now...his mom n family gave me the impression they accepted me...in that they will hug..n kiss my cheek n ask me how I'm doing whenever I see them...recently I found out that its not what it seem n they don't actually accept me cuz I hav a 3 year old daughter...my child dad n I broke up after a string of physical n verbal abuse...n I thought to myself I didn't want my daughter growing up seeing her dad treat mommy that way n believe in her older years that its right for a guy to treat her that way....then I realised what can b worse if her mom is nt there to protect her...so I left...my current bf is sweet..caring n loves children...he has no prob with my daughter...however his mom does...n they hav been having arguments n he even checked a place to rent ..however I'm not to comfy with that...I lost my dad earlier on so I knw how important it is to have ur parents around n I'm a mom myself...I understand that she seeks his best interest cuz she loves him..after all I love him to...I believe its important for any relation into marriage to have the blessings of ur parents...any advise on how I can do this?

Family, including parents, are not always good people to associate with.

Your boyfriend needs to make his own decisions about what is right in his relationship with his family.

___

It is not always best to have a relationship with parents/family. You know that.
You are no longer with your child's father.

If you really believed that the relationship between the parent and child was important beyond anything else, you would have stayed with your ex.