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Tue 26 May, 2009 03:38 pm
we were together briefly from Dec 08-Mar 09. We split up due to his lies and secrets he had about his past, he would never pay for anything, he lived with me for a while until i made him move for not helping with the bills. He would make me feel bad because he was suppossedly living in a shelter and had no where to go. He said he had a job but I never saw a check. He said his father would get his check for him because he had an alchohol problem. After we split I found out im pregnant, and at first we got along but then he started begging me to get back in a relationship with him, which I refused. Then he started telling me more truths about himself, like he is Bi-Polar and he is not aloud back in the state of California because of some pending charges( also which he served 6 years in prison for drug use and manufacturing). He would call all day and beg me, he would go from being nice to being a jerk. I told him about my first appointment but he did not go because he had no ride and I could not pick him up( I was on my lnch break). He went to the first wic appointment because I picked him up and dropped him off. The second wic appoinment he suppossedly walked and I gave him a ride home, but when we got to his destination he refused to get out of my car for 20 minutes while he begged me to explain why I would not give him another chance(not the first time he refused to get out of my car when he didn't get his way) Finally he threw a couple punches at my dashboard and got out slamming my car door as hard as he could while crying. So after that I decided I was not going to let him come to anymore appointments, I dont need that stress each time. Since then he has called daily and emailed to let me know thathe is filling for full legal custody of the baby when its born because I am neglecting him as a father not updating him on the baby. I have completely ignored him since that last wic appointment and he swears on his recent voicemails taht he knows when my next appointment is and he will be there and if I change it he will find out and be at that one....My question is if he does show and I refuse to let him go in back with me, Can that be held against me later if he does file for custody????? Any help will be appreciated. I' m scared.
@towtruk,
I refuse to read all your stuff - it's in one paragraph.
However, to answer the thread title, yes, you can refuse. You can also refuse to have him at the birth.
@towtruk,
You can always counter his threat with one of yours own about filing for a restraining order if he doesn't stop stalking you.
You don't mention what state you live in so you'll have to do your own specific research starting here:
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4GGLL_enUS320US320&q=how+to+obtain+a+restraining+order
I just wondered why you got pregnant?
You can refuse to have him be allowed at any of your appointments or at the birth. It sounds like you might need to look into a restraining order. I don't see how any court would offer up custody to him if his past really is as bad as you have written here.
You obviously have access to the internet, I would go to your state website and look for links on family law. The phone book should also have these numbers in the front in the blue pages (they are blue in TX anyway).
@KiwiChic,
Quote:I just wondered why you got pregnant?
Pregnancy is an unfortunate condition that occurs when people have sex. I'm guessing they had sex.
Like others said here - you can refuse - you have a right to your privacy when it comes to doctor's appointments and your treatment. It cannot be held against you because this is a personal privacy right - not a parental right. It might be helpful to alert the doctor's office so they are aware and do not give him any information.
Like some one else said, if he is violent, you may want to get a restraining order. And look into custody rights as well. You may be able to get some free legal advice in your state - do a search and see what sort of services are available.
Once the birth happens the father's rights do kick in. He will be able to have a court order you to submit the child to DNA testing, and if the man is found to be the father he will have equal footing with you in the courts re the child. If you were to say put the kid up for adoption he has a certain amount of time to prove paternity and then to nullify the adoption.
This is not 1960 any more, women no longer have the right to do what every they want when it comes to the kids.
@LionTamerX,
I didn't ask how, I asked why?....if he was this and that in the 4mths they were together......
However like everyone has stated you do not have to let him anywhere near you should you choose not to.
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