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Tue 19 May, 2009 07:16 pm
So, as a certified grinch, or misanthrope, or curmudgeon, or whatever, I'm in a bit of a bind. I have, you see, a quandary.
Across the street from my house is a funeral home. Cat-corner to me (and across the street from the funeral home) is a large Catholic cemetery. It isn't really relevant to the story that this particular cemetery caters to the dead Catholics, but it is interesting to note, as it is across another major street from a large Protestant cemetery, and the character of each is quite different.
At any rate, as far as I can tell, the funeral home services both papists and reformists. And others as well, perhaps, but I'm not sure where they might bury their dead.
For the most part, having a very large and rather busy funeral home as a neighbor isn't too importunate. They're quiet, for the most part, and they're generally not around in the evening peeking in the windows.
Occasionally, though, it happens that they have a large funeral with a veritable multitude of attendees. At such time, attendees must park on neighboring streets.
Now, it so happens that the street I share with the funeral home has no curb (or "kerb," for those of you who drive on the wrong side of the road). No shoulder, either. There's road, an ill-defined strip of sand, cigarette butts, and assorted litter about half a foot wide, and there's my grass.
Which is to say, there's nowhere to park on this street except for my yard. Which people do, apparently quite freely.
There are no signs prohibiting them from doing so, which is fine. I don't want a bunch of municipal signs at the edge of my road.
Even so, were these people parked in my yard for any other reason, I'd be pissed off. But they're here for a funeral, so I feel like maybe I shouldn't be pissed off. Because, you know, they're bereaved and all. Thing is, though, frequently when they're blithely parking on my grass, there is parking available around the corner. You know, where there is a curb, and there's a clearer distinction between where one's car might go and where one's gas grill might go.
So, the question is ----
Do I have the right to think that the people parking on my yard are azzoles, or do circumstances exempt them from common courtesy?
I recommend a shortish stone or faux stone wall, (block, mortar, stone veneer) , say, 28 inches ht, at your property line. (well, prop line is another story, re footing, in CA, footing can make a diff) . For the rules I know, height can go to 42 inches. But.. 28- 30 is clear, and friendlier and cheaper.
I've no idea at which point people just hit your wall. I figure it's f.n routine, but better than yard parking.
Consider a nice hedge behind that short wall.
They're inconsiderate, but could be excused because they have something else on their minds at the time they are parking the cars.
You could probably easily cure the problem by putting up a small chain fence to designate where the public access ends and your private property begins.
Something like this shouldn't be too expensive or difficult to install:
This one is glow in the dark so it can be seen both in day and night time. $12 per 150 inch (12 ft.) section of fencing:
http://www.taylorgifts.com/prodetail~itemNo~28927.asp
It's plastic, but you could easily do something similar with metal materials.
@ossobuco,
Ummm.. fencing..
This all makes me think of art signs.. less money, more joy.
@patiodog,
Charge them for parking, or have them towed. They are just as respectful of private property elsewhere. Really, people don't change just because they're "bereaved".
"funeral home" is an interesting euphemism.
Well, the fence may be part of the problem. We've got a 5-foot fence set back the legally required distance from the road. (It's a corner lot, so there are big restrictions on where I can and can't have structures based on sight lines and safe driving and the like.) But, like, the grass runs all the way up to the road, and it's my responsibility to maintain it. There are also 2 trees out there (properly trimmed, so that people can still see oncoming traffic from the corner), and right now there is an SUV parked about 6 inches from one of them., and about 3 feet from the fence. Usually they don't park so close -- but, you know, SUV driver...
And I certainly don't care enough to install a structure. (Which would get hit a lot, actually. My road is a major drunk- and reckless-driving corridor, not quite a main road but very convenient. Also very slick sometimes in the winter.) I'd prefer just to have something to be happily angry about a couple of times a month.
Still, though, I thought I should check with the experts and see if I had the right to be angry, otherwise I'm not happily angry, see?
@ossobuco,
One more addition, some fence foolery could work - as most people don't meant to invade. Cough.
But back when I talked about a short wall (not cheap), I talked about a hedge.
Hedges can be natural, and take up serious space.
I remain pro a short wall that levels, or tends to level, the frontage, and then putting (a drainage system behind it - that is what I am used to) - some fulgent thing that doesn't kill the wall and drainage system. Ah, I should just be quiet, even my short walls have beef and feet.
@patiodog,
They're either a bit dumb, or arse-holes or perfectly reasonable.
Depends on whether it ought to be clear to them that they are parking in someone's front yard.
I am a grumpy sort, so I'd tend to the first two.....but I don't know what the yard looks like.
May I add I am very happy with your word: "grumptitude"!!
It's a keeper.
@Butrflynet,
Quote:They're inconsiderate, but could be excused because they have something else on their minds at the time they are parking the cars.
They're parking in a shallow, grassy drainage ditch. There's no way to drive into it without being acutely aware of it. I have to think that parking there is a deliberate decision.
@dlowan,
Quote:May I add I am very happy with your word: "grumptitude"!!
Glad you like it. <doffs cap, low bow>
On a somewhat related note, I've been trying to come up with the proper revenge on my neighbor for shoveling his snow against the side of my house -- and onto the cheap window well covers, blocking all light to the basement from the west and causing one of them to collapse and the window well to fill with snow.
For what it's worth, after the first thaw, I noticed the collapsed cover and left it in place, and about a week later it was gone. It would appear that the neighbor, unaware that I was aware, threw it out to dispose of the evidence.
The cover cost about 4 bucks, no big deal, but no apology has ever been offered and I feel an appropriately petty revenge is in order...
@ossobuco,
Ok, I take every nice thing back.
Will think on this.
Hedge with or without basic wall may still work, while
a) boring
b) maintenance
c) years to grow
@ossobuco,
Quote:One more addition, some fence foolery could work - as most people don't meant to invade. Cough.
But back when I talked about a short wall (not cheap), I talked about a hedge.
Hedges can be natural, and take up serious space.
I must confess that actual ownership of this stretch of earth is a matter of some debate. It's definitely the city's right-of-way, and all definitions of where that ends and where one can build and plant are based on distance from the curb. Regardless, though, it is required that I "maintain" the frontage, and certainly said maintenance is sometimes hindered when people are parking on it, blocking my access and damaging the grass.
@patiodog,
Well, you're surrounded by arseholes, and you're a very good Boots!
Grump and be happy!
If you drank a lot next winter, could you piss the words:
"Snow-shovelling jerk!"
On his snow?
Or write "arse-hole" on his front lawn in round-up?
@ossobuco,
So, Patio, you have to deal with this road hoohaw and a wild neighbor?
You can do this if you can stomach bureaucracy. I'm out of LA, home of contention, but I have a friend in mid town that dealt with bizzarro stuff and has mostly won.
Trouble is, this is all enervating re one's interests.
On the other hand, it is dismal to just be run over, and worth looking at how to deal with.
@patiodog,
Oh.... I think you have argument point right there. They just want you to pay for whatever remedy. All sucky poo.
@ossobuco,
Next question, do you have adjacent homeowners, or maybe not so adjacent, with similar shiteroo?
I'm all for well-reasoned grumpiness!
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