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ASSIGN THE PUNISHMENT

 
 
Misti26
 
Reply Fri 22 Nov, 2002 11:23 pm
Assign the punishment
Three guys found themselves in Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4", dirty, and you could smell her even over the Brimstone.

The voice of the Devil was heard, "Brett, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Brett was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment.

This understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped when a second door opened, and they saw an even more disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in thick black hair,and flies circled her.

The voice of the Devil was heard, "Carl, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Carl, like Brett, was whisked off.

Bob, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and feared the worst when the third door opened. And as the door inched open, he strained to see the figure of ... Cindy Crawford. Delighted, Bob jumped up, taking in the sight of this beautiful woman, dressed in a skimpy bikini. Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying:

"Cindy, you have sinned."
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bigdice67
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2002 08:41 pm
Different, but same location
Jack's been bad in life, real bad. This lifetime-sinner ends up in, yea, right, hell. Jack is kind of dazed and amazed to find that hell isn't that bad,sunny, beaches, bars that stay open 24 hours, games, in short all the stuff that makes life worth living.

Enjoying his eternal days in hell, one day Jack meets the Devil, and asks him about the situation
"Hey, Devil, what's the story here, really? I thought that this was going to be, huh, like hell, with fire and brimstone, and the whole nine yards."
"Come with me, sinner, and I'll show you something." the Devil answered.
Suddenly a big door appeared, which Satan opened and prompted Jack to go in. In the room behind the door there was an excruiating heat and constant screaming from punished souls. After a few seconds Jack could see what was going; pots filled with burning people that was being whipped by lesser demons were screaming in agony...
"WHAT IS THAT?" Jack asked.
The Devil answered cooly
"Those are the catholics, they wanted it that way."
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