The naked truth about A2K shenanigans!

The readership has spoken…..The silence is deafening!

Ok, he has had some murmurings of support; but I put that down to the adding of an ‘o’ to the end of his name. How would it look if it was; Purt_-Ric_ or Mexic_? Don’t forget the Alamo and Waterloo! Walter may be able to assist with the details as he was probably on the Prussian side.

It has therefore become obvious that this thread is not big enough for us both; so, in an effort to gain a pecuniary advantage: There are three words in the English language that end in "gry". One is angry, another is hungry; you maybe know the thoid already?

I’m gonna call you out Roberto! (That is CALL as in a louder voice and at some distance: As opposed to ASKING you out " in case it is misconstrued as a date!)

Shall we say we meet here at 12 noon (Pacific Standard Time (PST)) if the day after tomorrow is yesterday, then “today” is as far from Saturday as the day which was “today” when the day before yesterday was tomorrow?

Be there or be square; and you had better be packing a thesaurus. Yo, this thread is the shiznit baby.


So what’s with the juxtaposition of 12 and noon?
Is this not just an example of the ABUSED WORDS highlighted by the Boss?

Like; is there another time for ‘Noon’?
See you at High Noon! Are you telling me there is a ‘Low’ noon? Get real buster!

And what’s up with the dumköpfes who think it is ok to add a ‘s’ to beside to make it ‘plural!’

Beside is a preposition that means; next to: “Stand here beside me.”
Besides is an adverb that means; also: “Besides, I need to tell you about the amazing community A2K offers.”

If such shoddy lexicon vexes, or indeed you have transgressed yourself; join A2K in an effort to cleanse your tormented soul.




In the next eye-opener we cast doubt that Izzie’s secret male admirer; who uses the nom de plume ‘G’ is none other than Gustavratzenhofer " whilst it is accepted that whoever it is must be pretty slow moving for Izzie to have gotten her claws in him, considering her best time for the 100 yards is as the American scientist John Wheeler once described as that which ‘stops everything happening at once.’

We will also seek the answer to: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?


(Editor’s note: “Oh, don't worry about me -- I'll just sit here alone in the dark worrying about it while you're off having fun with all your A2K friends...")

And you never call me!

oh dear oh dear oh dear

Always up for a tittle....<always, always dot my eyes!>

Gman Shenanigan Beginagain could surely be the RiteZenOffer if all 33 hold up with time. Always up for more than a brew " Gman ver-tea-bray got some strength " little extra milk with the tea (ordered a cow). Beginning at the neck, 7 ver-tea-bray in cervical (sir-vick-all) spine - 12 thoracic (thor-ah-sick) - 5 or 6 lumbar (lum-bar) - 5 sacrum (say-crumb) "and 3 coccyx (cock-six). It’s all dependent on the coccyx Will he come good? Never smile at a crocodile " the swamps a scary place. SO'S A'OK - Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers were all invented by women. No worries.


Having snagged a GIZman <so must cut my nails>, now holding my breath " you can’t kill yourself by holding your breath, it’s also impossible to lick your elbow, women blink (twice as much as men), men wink... or maybe look blank.... or is that wan*........ whatever!

Stir the pot.

“Basia Coquum” said the Naked Chef.

Don’t get sticky fingers " y'all prints are all different, like tongue prints..... The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language requiring the tongue to be the strongest muscle in the body. AND Wilkinson Sword!


Now, did you ever wonder what the WD in WD-40 stands for? The name was lifted right out chemist Norm Larsen's laboratory notebook. Way back in 1953, he was trying to concoct an anti-corrosion formula, which worked on the basic principle of displacing water. On his 40th try , Larsen finally got it right. Hence the name WD-40 - literally meaning Water Displacer, 40th try. Would you like a wii!again?

So, if you were a flower, what would you be?

Mellita, domi adsum

Izzie: Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur!

You know when some days just seem so darn perfect; so I would like to take a moment to thank you for lifting this poor excuse for a thread above:

‘how to get rid of raccoons’
Question by cobler207 on 04/28/09 5:07 PM Replies: 20 Views: 206

I feel like I’m on a roll; take today as an example:

I wake up early enough to drag the trash out to the kerb and find a $20 note in the front yard. On my way to town I see a church is offering a free book for donations…..I call in and donate the $20; disappointed I can’t choose a book, they hand me one wrapped in brown paper. Come lunch time I check the bag and…..

It is Rip Van Winkle by Washington Irving printed in 1905….. With over 50 color drawings by Arthur Rackham at the back.

Wow! Proof that a poor kid from a shack at Belle Haven, Greenwich, Connecticut; and even though it’s a 50 minute commute to downtown Manhattan, a little guy can still make it.

Having done time there myself I look back to Von Steuben High School Chicago, IL. Class of 2001. As being eclipsed by North Park College & Theological Seminary, Chicago, IL Class of 2005, when I was on the stage and had hoped Katrina would choose me as her Prom date; but even after I had finished sweeping it, she did not even notice me.

Many a night since then, as I looked out over Byram Harbor towards the park I have cried myself to sleep at the thought of what might have been this week a year ago when Katrina, who by now is in the world of show business and looking for:

Roommate Needed in Century City:
Six early to mid 20's girls are looking for a 7th roommate. Beautiful house in Century City - across the street from the Century City Mall. Close travel to Beverly Hills and Fox Studios. Would have own room and share a bathroom. $970 a month plus utilities. We are looking to fill the room ASAP and are open to summer boarders. Please contact Katrina if interested. Thanks!


INTERESTED!!! Are you kidding?
I was drooling…..at the thought of bible classes and started to hitch out west -

Regretfully, there is no happy ending to this story and even today I believe Wandel hates me for not giving him grandchildren, so I call him to explain:

“Wandel, how are you?"

"Not too good," He says, "I've been very weak."

"Why are you so weak?"

Wandel says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."

"That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?

Wandel answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth filled with food in case you called!"


If you have any suggestions about how this script can be turned into a feature length movie, make free with your creative juices!

Grab a mop or at least a shovel ...

These tales from the looney bin get better and better, but where is the naked
truth?

Godammit I wanna see something nekkid around here.

Braccae tuae aperiuntur

PALO ALTO, Calif. -- Scientists at Leland Stanford Junior University announced today a discovery that may explain why so many dinners go downhill so fast and end so unpleasantly.

The research team's biologists and chemists determined that yams (Dioscorea species) -- which are often very mistakenly called sweetpotatoes (Ipomoea batatas) -- contain a precursor to truth serum (sodium pentothal). This chemical (sodium quattrothal) reacts with agents in the toasted marshmallows, a sweet confection of a spongy consistency traditionally used as a topping on holiday yam sidedish preparations. In the heat of an oven, the chemicals in each combine to form the complete truth serum molecule.

When consumed in sufficient quantities, a generous second helping is usually enough, the sodium pentothal takes effect. The honest comments then follow. These moments of candidness, say social scientists who observed over 200 Thanksgiving dinners in their natural setting, lead directly to the sticky messes that followed.

Sweet potatoes " who knew!

So............ what's for dinner?









oooooooooooooooooooooooooh.... served up on a silver platter.

Dinner Service with a smile!

Ad praesens ova cras pullis sunt meliora.

I have been seeing a woman of ill repute, if that constitutes a rumor.

What does anyone know about Walter squashing the Skinhead Rebellion? Any truth to that?

Where the hell have you been? How can you leave me alone for all these gruesome months? I'm not sure if I should be angry
or happy to see you!

Walter, has it enormously behind his ears*

*) literally translated from a German proverb

I have been working on my rock-climbing skills, Jane, as well as my new found passion for chewing glass. How have you been?

I've been sitting on the window, crying, and hoping for better days.

Now get naked, as jespah has ordered you to do so!!

And be quick about it... Dinner is served!

I raced out from the shower to the backyard to bring in the laundry when it started to rain on it yesterday. It's easier to dry skin than clothes. (and I was already a bit wet!)

Ain't nobody seen it though! (I hope)

See? Nekkid laundry. And, er, nekkid, uh glass chewing. That's what I'm talkin' about.

And Walter, er, since I have no idea what you posted I will respond in random Latin: dulce et decorum est.

However, I do prefer chickens today cuz they are sweet and proper...

You mean you've found love, Gus?

So that's what's been keeping you away!