Mon 13 Apr, 2009 07:30 pm
Hey, I'm 15 and I've found that I'm in love with my best friend. She and I have dated twice before, and before we broke up the last time she told me that she loved me. Two days later, she told me that some days she hates me and we broke up. I was crushed, I loved her and thought I always would. I've tried to move on, but I find more and more often that I don't want anyone but her. We've grown close, to a point where she calls me her "Big Bro". The worst part is that she has grown to like my best friend. I try to be happy and comfortable with it, but just the thought that I have been replaced by by best friend tears me apart. I don't know her thoughts, and I know that sharing mine could ruin our friendship, or severely damage it. I want to know if I should tell her, and how I should if I do.
If you did tell her, what's your best guess as to what she would say?
Ah, puberty. I am very confused as you say you're in love with your best friend. But later you say she is in love with your best friend. Then you describe a relationship between you and her that sounds like best friends.
Sorry, I can't figure out how many are involved in this.
Either way, at 15, friendship is nothing compared to the deep and true love you are feeling. That will be eternal so you should and must tell her. Urgently.
I'm not sure to be honest... Like she's hard to read, like I had her over Sunday and we hung out in my room and we took a nap on my bed. The whole time she cuddled up to me, grabbing my arm, and hugging me. It was wonderful to be honest, but she woke up and apologized saying "Sorry, I just do that all the time..." Before she said that all I could think about was how I was going to tell her, and then I thought "Oh, she wasn't flirting, just comfortable..." So I don't know... At this point I'm not so confident that she'd be happy about it...
OK she is willing to be physical with you so that's a good sign, but she is emotionally cautious with you so that's a bad sign.
Here is what to do:
tell her directly how you feel.
Do schedule alone time
with her, but do it in a really gentle friendly way like it was accidental.
Do keep up
with the physical stuff in a really gentle friendly way like it was accidental.
Do plan things together
like movies and walks.
Keep all that up for 6 months and you should see results!
I'm am just confused to how you recognized that I have "deep and true love" for her. I do believe that I have nothing but the most of myself for her, and I am not reconsidering my feelings for her. She makes me happy just to be around her, and when she and I were dating we used to stay up at all hours of the night just talking, simply talking. And that made me truly happy, I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her. However we were cut short... I don't know if it was the fact that we said "I love you" to each other, or some outside reason, such as she was on her period (she was when we broke up). So I do love her still, and if anything it has grown as we spend time with each other... But what showed you that I had "true love"?