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Sat 7 Mar, 2009 10:16 pm
The relationship is about 8 and a half years long, I'm in my late 20's and he's in his early 30's. Although I still love the guy, we have very different goals in life - I want to be a foster parent, he hates kids; I want to move somewhere sunny, he wants to stay near his parents; he puts sugar in Cream of Wheat, I use salt. We don't live together and never have, as a part of this incompatibility. While the relationship is very comfortable, I have the nagging feeling I need to get a move on with some things I've been putting off for the sake of the relationship. I know a breakup is going to hurt us both, but is there a way to let him go without making him think I hate him?
@TR,
There will be no easy way to end it. But start by saying some of the same words you've written here --
TR wrote:...I still love the guy, (but) we have very different goals in life ...While the relationship is very comfortable... I need to get a move on with some things I've been putting off....
Sometimes people who love each other grow in different directions. It doesn't mean they don't love each other. It just means they should follow different paths. And regrettably, they can't always do that together.
i am sorry for the potential pain you will have but you have to consider the following, "will your future be better with him or without him."
You're not living together - after 8.5 years
Plus he doesn't want kids
Plus you want to adopt
Plus you want sunny weather
Plus he does not want to move
That's plenty for an explanation on why you must leave.
Remember that lots of people split up for a lot less than the above reasons.
Be strong........be firm..........just do it.
You are not responsible for his life.
You are not responsible for what he thinks and feels, you are responsible for what you do. In this case and always what you do is get out of relationships with honesty. You tell him what you are doing and why, you hear him out if he has something to say in response, and then you go.
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