Please help

Listen, I had a situation that sounds basically exactly like yours .. 6 months, I loved her, she got tiered of me, she dumped me, then she wanted to get back together.... well we got back together and it lasted abt a month and then everything went to HELL it is now worse than the first time I can't say I love her n e more and we fight everytime we get within 50 feet of each other.... so if you got tiered of him in the first place chances are there was a reason .... I wouldn't do that ever again.... theres no point it only makes things worse... and then instead of lying in bed at nite thinkin wow what a great person I had there you think wow what a ***** I can't belive I wasted 6 months of my life w/ them.... hope this helps ..... oh yea and btw I am 17 but just turned that when this all happend

Welcome to A2K, moonsugar and rorwizard!

Rorwizard has some good insight. At the same time, I think there is more to be gained by putting everything on the table than just lying to this guy. If you go into it with eyes open -- this may not work, but we want to see what happens -- then nobody is to blame if it doesn't work out, and it may be a learning experience. And it may even work out!

The only advice I can give is to follow your heart.

When I was your age I was going out with a great guy who loved me dearly. This guy decided to join the military and after a year went by I became confused about my feelings for him, so I broke up with him. Well, that is one of the biggest mistakes I ever made and I regret it to this day. If you love him, don't let him go ;-)

Welcome to A2K.

Well, the first thing is to put it out of your mind that his grades started to slip because of you. He let that happen to himself, with obviously bad results as per your relationship with him. I would sit him down, and be honest with him. No lies or half-truths. When dabbling in adult-type relationships, it is always best to learn quickly how to solve problems in an adult manner. I might suggest a hiatus from each other until he gets his grades up, finishes his schooling, and learns to understand that you need your space, and that a little space would be good for him as well. 6 months is not really a good yardstick to tell if this will work out or not. One thing I do know, making any realtionship work over the long haul requires learning to be secure enough to respect not just your lover, but yourself as well.

i sent you a pm. relationships in high school are hard. everyone is going to go thru them. when you truly love someone you HAVE to follow your heart. but if you want to be with him, then try it again and see how things go. if things dont work out then it probably wasnt meant to be. i really dont know much about relationships, ive only been in 1 since 8th grade. (i went out with a guy off and on for 4 years) and it was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. my real father is never there for me so i never rely on him for anything, so the love i got from my boyfriend meant the world to me... and that saying "you never know what you have until you lose it" is 150% true. if you truly love someone, you'll realize that. but PLEASE dont put yourself in my position and lie to him about it, be honest and you'll thank yourself for being truthful later on. lies are EXTREMELY bad.. trust me. they get you no where except hurt. i can understand that your probably confused about this whole thing, but i'd rather be confused about a relationship then with a broken heart... and seeing him everyday knowing at any time he could get with another girl. my boyfriend says that he'll love me no matter what because of the **** we've been thru, and i trust him. he never lied to me about anything, and i dont know why i was ignorant and lied to him. but now that i dont have him i cry EVERYDAY, and think about him every waking moment and how badly i wish i could take what i did back. so no one would be hurt and i would still have him. i wake up in the mornings thinking, "well ****, my day is going to be horrible." so, just follow your heart and your true feelings.

I have to comment on his grades. He needs a reality check. Sounds to me like he believes that by paying *TOTAL* attention to you, that he will win you over. When in all reality you need a solid support; By failing school, this will not be accomplished. Let him know that you need a person with straight priorities, grades should come first at this critical time in life. There is a time and a place for everything, High School is not the time to start a serious relationship at the sacrifice of your grades.