Can I have a dollar?

Have you been watching The Simpsons?

by the time you've received your "donations" you won't be going to tampa anymore
hbg

what do I get for it?

Nope. Why, was Homer in need of a good dose of social justice just like I am?

What do you want?

a 100% return on my investment

I just saw a bit of an episode where Homer got an auto-dialer out of a dumpster and was asking for $1 donations.

Ivestment? Your investment here is in making the world a more fair and just place for me, so yes, if you give me a dollar, you will have gotten 100% of it back in karmic/cosmic good vibes. And I thank you for that.

You should ask your friends in NYC. (Tip - don't tell them it's roundtrip).

Have you got change for a hundred?

If ya do, I can leave the bill under the mat and you can take the dollar out of it.

I could paypal you a dollar....but alas, no email address.

Can I fax you a buck?

Social justice is very important to me, kicky. So important that I took the last crisp dollar bill out of my secret hiding place and started to send it to you. But there was a guy on the corner holding up this big sign that said, "Homeless Vet" and I just couldn't stand it. I mean, here this guy risked his life for us, and he doesn't even have a place to call home. Talk about social injustice. So I gave him your dollar. I knew you would understand.

What kind of guarantees are you offering to ensure that my dollar will be used for the intended purpose? I want hourly status reports. Why should I fork over my hard earned dollar to bail you out of your self-induced crisis when all you need do is cut out visits to Starbucks for a year? It isn't my problem if you don't drink coffee, or if there are no Starbucks near you where you can implement these cost cutting measures that Senator McCain is proposing.

Your plan is much too costly and has no benefit to my friends at McDonald's who are serving their own brand of overpriced coffee. I'm not falling for this bailout scheme of yours. Your choice is to either stay home or drink coffee from McDonald's for a year. Tough luck if my plan doesn't get you to Florida in time for your sister's wedding. She'll probably still be married a year from now and I'm sure someone will take pictures of the wedding to share with you. You can see them next year on their first anniversary; so what if they might be divorced by the time you get there. It is their fault for not learning more about each other before jumping into marriage that wouldn't last. By the way, your mother also likes McCain's plan better than yours. She thinks you drink too much coffee for your own good.

Roger, just for that, I'm coming to Farmington, NM instead!

Yes, but only in pennies. Thanks for your contribution.

No problem. Meet me in front of Macy's at the corner of 34th and Broadway at noon tomorrow. I'll be the one with the "$1 can help bring justice to the world" sign around my neck.