Why can't I pay more than my boyfriend if I earn more money than him?!

You can be my girlfriend; I haven't got any problems with women paying for things.

Sounds more like he's up against his credit limit, than it is about how much you pay.

My advice is that you should be understanding. Being out of work is very difficult for many of us... it feels like an attack on your dignity. It would be difficult for me to be in a position where I felt I was relying on my girlfriends money. I am not saying that this feeling is rational. But, it is understandable.

I hope that you can talk about this with him without saying "I hate this male pride thing!" (not a good thing to say to him by the way). I would appreciate my girlfriend saying something like "I understand that this is a difficult time, but I really want to take this trip with you... please let me find a way to help." If my girlfriend said this, I would probably agree. Another option is to make this a loan... an idea that will be easier if he knows how important this trip is to you.

Be understanding and communicate. You shouldn't force him to give up his "male pride" ... you should instead talk to him about what you want and work out a solution that both of you feel happy about.

Same here. Move east to NYC. Your current boyfriend sounds like an arrogant douchebag/obsessive traditionalist. Does he still think it's the 1950's?

I'm an atheist and I totally understand why pride is considered a big sin. If you can't accept help from others then you get what you deserve.

The world would be a much better place if male pride was toned down a few thousand percent.

Not unusual or pathological that men wish to act like men.

Of course it's not unusual behavior. Still doesn't make it douchbag-free behavior.

Acting according to instinct is bad behavior? So the guy wants to pay for the girl. A big douche bag in your book? Hey, ladies, if you go out with this guy, bring money, because he's "enlightened."

He's acting like an immature cry-baby and his girlfriend is suffering the consequences of his tantrum. Yeah. that makes him a douchebag in my book.

Well let me put it this way Tsar, I am very grateful that my girlfriend is more understanding than you are. I would have trouble dating you I think. I don't like hardasses.

I don't think Tsar is any hardass person. This is a cultural difference for many of us, which ever side you take as your own.

My stance is hardass? Resorting to 1950's machoism that the male is and should always be the breadwinner? Now that's conservatist hardassery that would make a Tea Party Republican proud to be a white male in a white male based patriarchal world. Really not sure how you define hardassed but my worldview/take is particularly (over)sensitive softass feminist AKA the anthithesis of hardass.

that was a little harsh.

Hey everyone, thanks for your views. Turns out he was using money as an excuse as he didn't really want to go, he confessed last night. Not sure where this leaves us and I was even more confused when I got flowers today from him. Ugh! so, regardless of the money thing I think he is a bit of a douchbag

Hi, RayRay - welcome to a2k.