She felt a need to speak out because she's not the only one to feel that way? So what? What point has she made? How has this information benefitted anyone, either herself or her firstborn daughter? I'm certain she hasn't been accepted anywhere with opened arms behind revealing this.
I have an acquaintance who told me the sad tale about getting married and having a child solely for her husband. Although she loved her daughter, she'd never wanted children and when she and her husband split, she felt stuck with the little girl. This is the type of woman who always has a boyfriend. Always. Or a husband. She couldn't breathe I don't think if she didn't have a boyfriend or a husband (she's been married twice since) and I've always felt that her daughter did not factor in her ongoing quest for a man. A few months ago, a mutual friend ran into her, with a new boyfriend, but minus a daughter. She'd finally convinced the child's father to take her. I'm still stunned behind it, still can't believe that she actually sent her daughter away but everyone's not wired the same and there are women, most undoubtedly, who do not want the children that they give birth to. It's almost unimaginable but I'm sure it happens more often than we'd like to think.
I agreed with you all the way up to your last sentence eoe. Then, I was surprised you said that.
Take me as exhibit A.
I've never wanted a child. I would never subject a child to having me as a mother.
I don't have a maternal instinct, and never wanted one. I don't dislike children in general. I like some in particular, but I wouldn't want them to be mine.
Yes, definately yes it happens MUCH more often than you'd like to think, but that's because to you and many others it is "almost unimaginable"
Perhaps more people don't come out with this truth is because we know we will be called stupid bitches and horrible people.
I don't know why this woman put this story in the paper. I don't think it was right, and that her daughter is hurt by this. I would never advocate this. I'm not going to even begin to guess what she thought she might gain from this.
This particular article aside, I really don't understand this viseral reaction people have about someone saying "I don't like/love my child" I mean, you can't force yourself to like/love someone whether you're related or not.
I have no doubt at all there's some genetic component to falling madly in love with your child, but we don't all have the same genes/background/desires for life.
That doesn't make someone a stupid bitch or horrible. It make's them different from you.
I thought I was pregnant while back in college. My main decision making process during that brief time was how I could arrange my time so that I wouldn't have to go home while I appeared pregnant, and until after I gave the child up for adoption.
I wouldn't have had a regret in the world if I gave a child up for adoption.
Why are people so wonderful when they adopt a baby, but so horrible when they know they don't want the kid, and give it up, especially when getting pregnant wasn't in the plans.
Why aren't they both as equally noble?
I wonder how often an adoptive parent thinks how thoughtful, realistic, and yes, how good the birth mother was for being brave enough to face the world and say "I don't want this child"....not all birth mothers are crack heads you know.
Back to this woman, no, I don't like that she put it in the paper. But, she has every right to her feelings, which are just as valid as anyone elses.