My spouse left me without caring

The easy answer to hear: No.
The hard answer to hear: No.

The answer.
K
O

your name says it all.


shes most likely in a mid life crisis of some sort, i would let her go and never accept her back, and sshe might realize she cant have you back, use that to your advantage and have sex with her,t hen kick her out in the morning. dotn even wait for her to wake up, throw her clothes outside then toss her out a window.

So... all women who have affairs are in a 'mid life crisis'?

Interesting.


Anyway..
My take is that she has made herself clear.
Women do not cheat simply because they want sex. They tend to cheat for emotional reasons, lack of companionship and essentially.. when the relationship is over for them.
When we make that decision, it isnt an easy simple thing. Something has been wrong for a while for her.

Save yourself some trouble and some pain and just go with the flow .
if she says it is over, stick with that. Dont take her back to allow her to do this again.
If it is this easy for her the first time, you are setting yourself up for heart break.

It took me awhile to filter through the different "she"s and "her"s but I think I'm clear on the situation.

A couple thoughts...

She's the mother of three children - did she leave them too?

She became involved with a man, found out he was married, was confronted by the man's wife, and is still involved with the man which tells me as much about the man as it does about your wife.

IMO, both of them are involved in a extramarital relationship because they are filling an emptiness not being filled by their existing ones. She said she's young and is looking for fun. What was her life like before the affair? You want to be her one and only, but what does that mean?

From your post it sounds like there might be an age difference in your relationship that's coming into play. Also, you don't mention the ages of your children. Are they grown and taking care of themselves or young, at home, and needing to be looked after?

Your question of her "deserving" your love is something only you can decide. Turning off one's love isn't as easy as flipping a switch based on whether or not it's deserved. We each love who we love for reasons of our own. If I had to guess I would say that she feels taken for granted in your relationship (as does her lover in his) and is looking for some fresh air beyond duty, responsibility, boredom, and "love".

I agree with JPB. You have three children together and your kids should
come before anyone else. If your wife has realized that she made a mistake
and is committed to you and your children, she deserves another chance.
Along the same lines, I would suggest counseling for the both of you.

Shewolf said that women tend to have an extramarital affair when their
emotional needs are not met, and there would be a start for you: did she
feel neglected by you? Three small children it can become easily
overwhelming for any woman, let alone one who is emotionally drained.

So before you ask yourself if she deserves your love, ask yourself if you
have given her all your love prior to her getting an affair.