Who The Hell Are You & What Happened To My Girlhood?

Who The Hell Are You And What Happened To My Girlhood?
Mark Morford 9/24/03

Despite frequent complaints of forgetfulness among women going through menopause, a new study suggests their memories are just fine.

Researchers expecting to see signs of mental decline in 803 menopausal women found evidence to the contrary -- the women's scores on periodic memory tests improved slightly over time, thus proving that menopausal women are pretty much lying their collective asses off, with full knowledge, just so they can justify losing the damn car keys for like, the 417th time.

Further evidence was discovered when Pammy Littleton, 16, one of the newly christened "Angry at everything" generation, came home from school one day and asked her menopausal mom for some money to buy more crap at the mall, only to be greeted by "What? I have kids? When the hell did I have kids? No freakin' way do I have kids," followed by the repeated slamming of little glasses of wine that were lined up on the formica kitchen counter like little red soldiers. "I blame the menopause," she slurred, happily.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2003/09/23/national0315EDT0441.DTL&nl=fix