Life insurance on parents

listening...

Concerned for your mother and for you.

BBB

Aside from the obvious concerns about your mom’s emotional, physical, and current economic situation, which must weigh heavily, are you considering taking out an insurance policy? Do you have qualms in this regard?

Two things. Your mom - stay in close contact with her. Talk to her talk to her talk to her.

The insurance. It would be extremely difficult for you to collect on a policy (if you can even get one) that you take out on your mother.

hi shewolf :

the first question both you and your mother have to ask and answer yourself is :
why does your mother want you to take out a life insurance policy on her life ?

the second is :
assuming you can get insurance on mother's life : what is it going to cost for (let's say) a $50,000 "unrestricted" policy ?
(my initial guess is : quite a bit of money ... and what for ?) .

# 3 : life insurance policies really need to be taken out at a young age to make the premium bearable(for the average person) .

# 4 : anytime over 45 one would "usually" be better off to save the money one would pay for the premium on a monthly basis (put it in an interest bearing savings account) .

but you really have to deal with question #1 first - and don't make any hasty decisions !!!
(i worked in life insurance admin. for 25 plus years - life insurance is great IF it is taken out for the RIGHT reason , at the RIGHT time and for the RIGHT term .
i'd suggest you do NOT fall for one of those FUNERAL policies . they look good when the person takes it out and is still alive - you've heard the slogan "FOR PEACE OF MIND" . the question is : is it the right FINANCIAL decision to buy a funeral expenses policy - doubtful imo) .

hope to hear from you .
all the best to you and your mom !
hbg

shewolf, your mother has something in common with mine. Mine lives in a similarly old house in a similarly bad economy with similarly bad winters. I think she leans toward depression anyway, and those long winters are very rough on her. She owns her house but lives off of social security and a pathetic alimony from my dad. She told my sister that she thinks she's dying. I told her I'd think I was dying too if I still lived in that ****-hole. We are trying to bring her here to Atlanta to live with us through the winter at least. It's not easy because she won't want to stay in our house for very long before she starts feeling like she's in the way. To that I say, with all of our money situations, we're going to have to learn to suck it up.

I think my mother is concerned that she has nothing left to offer me , even in her death. She does not want me to have to shoulder that expense, and she feels obligated to 'give me something' along those lines.
I am very keen on the over charging , and horrid behaviors of the funeral business and when it comes time, I will do nothing but pay for a cremation. There is no need to fork out several thousand dollars on a box that goes into the ground. Im not one to subscribe to that type of service and gratefully neither is my mother.

I dont know much about life insurance and it DID cross my mind to take one out on her, and I immediately felt ill . Like I was being selfish. But the honest truth is that if she died today, I have NO MONEY to help pay for her burial. NOTHING.

She lost her 401 k for not being able to replenish in a certain amount of time.
Now, the IRS put a lean of 20g on her home for taxes from that 401k.

I can pay that either if she dies now.

Realistically she should be around another 10 years or so.. but you never know.

Yes, the climate is HORRIBLE for her body. I know this, she now knows this, but how can you bail yourself out of 20g in debt in an economy where there is nothing to fall back on?
If she left, she could get a job in some other city, but she would literally have to sell everything in her home to have enough money to support herself for a couple of months on until she gets a job.

Im sure some of this is depression for my mom. She has admitted so and I know her well enough to hear the signs.
Luckily she is not a person to suffer major depression... just tid bits here and there like most people. Seasonal depression is one.

but even in depression, she has a point about money . and I think that is what scares me the most

shewolf -- you don't have to pay the lien. Her estate pays it. Her estate can also pay for her funeral expenses once the estate is settled. Her "estate" might simply be the value of her house once it's sold (unless you plan on living there) but the Probate court will make sure that the liens are covered by the sale of her real property before the family receives any additional proceeds.

Does she have a will?

Good point JPB, unless shewolf put her name on the lien, she is not liable for it, the estate is.

shewolf wrote :



you'd be better off putting a few dollars a week/month away in a savings account than trying to buy "funeral" insurance (which is not free either !!!) .
in many cases the funeral insurance policies do not pay anything in the first two premium years .

a v.p. i worked for had an sign on his desk :
"don't praise me at my grave : i can't hear you !
don't put flowers on my casket : i can't see them ! " .

I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your mom. Try not to be too hard on yourself and I don't think you are selfish. Simple funerals can be costly.

I’m sorry things seem so glum. While it seems unlikely there’ll be anything you can do regarding your mom’s financial circumstances, given your own, I get that sense of responsibility. I think many of us might consider bankrupting ourselves to provide medical care, or a funeral, for a loved one. I’m also glad you can put that emotional knee jerk reaction (feeling selfish) into perspective. Why it is we do that to ourselves I haven’t a clue (well maybe an inkling, but no matter).

Hamburger’s comments on timing and purpose are important. While insurance for your mom’s expenses may not be the best option for her (not you) to follow at this point, it may certainly be a very good option for you and your family, particularly to provide for Bean, in the event your death is untimely, and/or to cover your own final expenses.

If she dies, you don't owe it. The estate is obligated to pay as many debts as possible, but any debts that aren't paid are cancelled.

I have done a little bit of reading since mom and I had that conversation.

My initial worry was that , as the surviving family member, I would be handed all of her bills on a lovely silver platter signed by the IRS. ....

meaning I would be up **** creek because I would have to pay or be in debt for the rest of MY life for her.

It is nice to know that does not happen. In all cases..

Her home, if the economy in Michigan were.. normal.. would be valued around 250 or so.
She bout it for 98 when the sale price was 110 after sitting on the market for almost 9 years. So even if it had to be sold right now, it would bring in the 20 grand the IRS is demanding and enough to cover a very simple cremation if necessary..

But I may just be still riding the wave of anxiety that my mother owns right now too.

Thanks everyone.
I did not know this about insurance policies.

http://www.jstor.org/pss/1389230

http://www.ncba.coop/abcoop_funer.cfm

http://www.funerals.org/affiliates-directory