The Irish, English and Scots men

<snort>

SmokinG, you haven't quite got the hang of this, your'e supposed to take the p*** out of the Englishman.

Hi kev, :wink: I understand that, but I read somewhere about being able to laugh at yourself, that was good as well.

Well O.K. smokinG, I can do that as well. God knows I've had enough practice.

smokin, so are you for gun control?

An Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman are driving a car through the desert and it breaks down. They decide to strip the car for anything useful to take with them on their trek to civilisation. The Englishman takes the cover of the backseat, saying he can make a sun-shade from the fabric. The Scotsman takes the spare tyre, which he says he can burn at night to keep them warm. The Irishman starts unscrewing one of the doors. The other two ask him what he's up to and he replies "Well, if it gets too hot I can wind the window down..."

Howd'y stranger, :wink: yes definately for gun control.
I posted PM Saturday night. Back to work to-day, I hope your boss is not too hard on you, Take care friend.

Grand Duke, the Irishman is always using his head. :wink:

Indeed, SG! By the way, I hope that my joke (and any others I can remember) are taken in the friendly spirit in which they are intended!

Here's one:

Two Irish navvies are looking for work and come across a sign outside some Forestry Commision woodland saying "Tree-Fellers Wanted". One turns to the other and says "What a pity there's only the two of us.."

What a Priest!

One fine sunny morning, the priest took a walk in the local forest. He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad looking frog sitting on a toadstool.

"What's wrong with you?" said the priest.

"Well," said the frog, "the reason I am so sad on this fine day is because I wasn't always a frog."

"Really!" said the priest. "Can you explain!"

"Once upon a time I was an 11 year old Choir boy at the local church. I too was walking through this forest when I was confronted by the wicked witch of the forest. 'Let me pass!' I yelled, but to no avail. She called me a cheeky little boy and with a flash of her wand, turned me into this frog you see before you."

"That's an incredible story" said the priest. "Is there no way of reversing this spell that the witch has cast upon you?."

"Yes" said the frog, "It is said, that if a nice kind person would pick me up, take me home, give me food & Warmth and with a good nights sleep I would wake up a boy once again."

"Today's your lucky day!" said the priest, and picked up the frog and took him home. The priest gave the frog lots of food, placed him by the fire and at bedtime put the frog on the pillow beside him. When the priest awoke, he saw the 11-year-old Choirboy beside him in bed,

"And that my lord is the case for the Defense....... "

A young Irish girl goes into her priest on Saturday morning for confession.
"Father, forgive me for I have Thinned."
"You've Thinned?"
"Yes, I went out with me boyfriend Friday night. He held me hand twice, kissed me three times, and made love to me two times."
"Daughter! I want you to go straight home, squeeze seven lemons into a glass, and drink it straight down."
"Will that wash away me Thin?"


"No, but it will get the silly smile off your face."

11.

Son Of A Bitch Fish

A priest took a sabbatical to a fishing lodge. On the
last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and
proceeded to reel it in. The guide holding a net, yelled
"Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!" Son,
I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!
No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is. A Son of a
Bitch fish!
Really? Well help me land this Son of a Bitch!
Once in the boat, they marveled at the monster.
Father, that is the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen.
Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch.
What should I do with it? Why eat it of course. You've
never tasted anything as good as that Son of a Bitch!
Elated, the priest headed home to the church. While
unloading his gear, and his prize catch, Sister Mary
inquired about his trip.
"Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"
Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!"
It's ok Sister. That's what kind of fish it is. A Son
of a Bitch fish!
Oh, well then what are you going to do with that big
Son of a Bitch?
Why, eat it of course. The guide said nothing compares
to the taste of a Son of a Bitch.
The Sister informed the priest that the Pope was
scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should
fix the Son of a Bitch for dinner.
"I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch", she said.
As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.
What are you doing Sister?
Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for
the Pope's dinner. Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset!
Please watch your language!
No, no, no. It's called a Son of a Bitch fish. Really.
Oh, well in that case I'll fix up a great meal and that
Son of a Bitch can be the main course! Let me know when you've
finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch.
On the night of the Pope's visit, everything was
perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal, there was
wine, and the fish was excellent.
The Pope said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"
"I caught the Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest.
The Pope's eyes opened wide, but he said nothing.
"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the sister.
The Pope sat silent in disbelief.
And the friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a
Bitch, using a special recipe!"
The Pope looked at each of them. Slowly a big smile
creeped across his face, and he said....



" Hey you fuckers are alright!!"

at kev and Grand Duke.

It's funny, when I was collecting their marriage license after my Dad died
that was his job title, "Tree-feller". :wink: