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Tue 19 Nov, 2002 09:15 pm
You are in trouble
An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself "Oh God, I'm screwed!!!!!."
There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living heck out of the chief.
As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces, Gods voice booms out again: "Okay ..... NOW you're screwed."
An ancient Christian was led into the Colisseum before a shouting multitude, and a vicious, snarling, thousand-pound lion was released.
Running for his life, the hapless Christian clasped his hands, looked skyward, and cried, "Dear lord in heaven! Please make this lion a Christian! Please make this lion a Christian!"
Suddenly the clouds split with a thunderous sound and a ray of light struck the lion squarely in the face. The lion appeared puzzled for a moment, then knelt down in the arena, bowed his head, and said,
"Our Father, we thank thee for this food which we are about to receive..."
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