6
   

Dreams/Terrors - where, how and why?

 
 
Izzie
 
Reply Wed 3 Sep, 2008 06:12 am
I didn’t sleep much last nite… I never really do

I went back to bed thismorning - had to " I was asleep, if that’s what it can be called for less than 1.5 hours

In that time I had the most horrible nightmares.

How is it possible to dream so vividly to the point you can feel the dream? You can feel the pain. Where do these dreams come from? Why do they happen at the times they happen?

I swear I could feel this beautiful pink dove (pretend dove, no dove could look the way it did), I could feel it’s claws on my hand " I woke up with the phone ringing (which I couldn’t/wouldn’t answer) because I had to get this dove off my hand tho I wanted it there because it really was quite precious " so I closed my eyes and continued the dream " only to be taken into something truly horrendous. I must have woken a dozen times throughout the hour and a half " or so it seems " so how can I be dreaming so deeply?

I don’t watch scary movies and I stopped reading books nearly 2 years ago " unable to focus on them and TV I haven’t watched since January " for a variety of reasons " I’m not being exposed to horrible images " in fact, quite the opposite " so why, why are these dreams and images so completely awful. I don’t have these images during the day " not like I am recalling now " in fact, completely the opposite.

I didn’t dream for a long time " tho I haven’t slept for a long time " now, increasingly I am having more dreams, more nightmares " where I wake up and wonder " “was it real”… you know, when you really don't know whether an event occurred...

The main part of my dream was about my cousins child whom I haven’t seen in a long time and have no reason to be thinking too deeply about her (in that, nothing is going on to make me be thinking of her on a deep level) " she has RA the same as me but her disease is far more serious " I kept seeing her " she was going to die, I was seeing her dead actually " and I had to stop it " the only way to do that was to see all these “dead” people who were coming to me " a bit like the TV programme Medium which I saw a long time ago " but I’m not a medium, ha, far from it " I have no sixth senses (maybe a seventh or eighth sense once removed and twice shy with my eldest son and one other when I know something is about to go down) " but not with anyone in the real world " I mean, you know " I’m certainly not Izzie supernatural powers… yet in this dream I had to stop what was going to happen " but I couldn’t " and I woke up finally when the dream got so bad that I guess I had wake up.

Weird…. scary

Anyone know where these dreams come from?

Anyone know why people can dream so vividly?

Anyone know how to stop the subconscious stepping into the waking world as it is now, or the sleeping world tonite?

Bit of a ramble here… it’s all mulling over…I wish it weren't, but the dream memory is fading fast but it's still pretty darn scary.
 
Bella Dea
 
  3  
Reply Wed 3 Sep, 2008 07:08 am
I don't know what causes bad dreams. I've struggled with them my whole life.

I used to have night terrors as a child. During those episodes I would get out of bed a lot. I'd rummage through my room looking for something to help/save me.....or worse run because something was after me. Once I stepped on a faux fur coat my grandma had given me and in my dream it was an animal climbing up my leg and I started beating it with my backpack and screaming at the top of my lungs. Scared my parents half to death. I only woke up when I ran smack into my dad while I was running out of my bedroom.
In my early twenties I had what I referred to as "Spidermares". I literally would leap out of bed, hit my husband (then boyfriend), thrash around in bed to get out and scream because there was a giant spider on the wall and I would wake up in my dream and it would still be there. Or there would be a spider in bed with us. They were real and terrifying. I'd lay awake for a long time not able to calm down until I was able to realize it was not real.

My terrors went away about 5 years ago and haven't been back since. I don't know if they will come back or not because they did go away for a while when I was a teenager.

My daughter woke up a few weeks ago screaming wildly and I am afraid that she will have these night terrors too. I don't have advice but I wish you luck. I know how absolutly horrifying these dreams can be.
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Sep, 2008 07:17 am
@Bella Dea,
Hey Bella

Thanku for replying.

Know the 8-legged nightmare too... I used to have "arachnaphobia" - in the truest sense of the word (as some on here know Wink ) but have been able to get it under control (I think) and am more rational now than in days gone by. Still not brilliant with them - but I haven't fainted or been ick for a few years now. For the first time in my life on Thursday nite I angrily killed a spider (and felt guilty) which was terrorising my little boy - I couldn't find the spider catchers (of which I have 3) in the new house and the only thing I could do at the time was grab the hobbyhorse and hit it before it ran towards him. Not a good thing to do, but, did it. Won't do it again unless I have to but certainly not brave enough to let it run around the house Embarrassed

Thanku tho - I wish the frightening thoughts would disappear.

I hope yours and your daughters do not return either.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  2  
Reply Wed 3 Sep, 2008 07:20 am
@Izzie,
Hmmmm...you say you've not been sleeping? I wonder if your body was starved for REM sleep and you got a heaping helping when you DID sleep?

We tend to recall dreams if we wake from them, or soon after, so you might have more bad dreams than you know.

As for the content....interpreting dreams is like asking how long a piece of string is, but you DO have a lot of worry and ill health, as I understand it, so I can imagine you'd have a lot of subconscious house keeping to do.

It's interesting to me that you dreamed about someone with the same illness...I wonder if you were expressing fears via that?

I also wonder if you are on any meds, such as anti-depressants, which can lead to vivid dreams?

You feel the pain because, basically, we feel, or interpret, pain in our heads, so your dreams would be stimulating the same receptors in your brain. It's not a mystery, or anything to worry about. It is just unpleasant!

Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Sep, 2008 07:30 am
@dlowan,
Hey Deb

nope, no meds other than methotrexate, co-prox and tramadol.

HOWEVER, since I went to the US - I stopped taking sleeping tablets (zoplicone) - have been on sleeping tablets for years (yep, haven't slept since my eldest son was 11 - nearly 5 years.)

On my trip - I didn't use one sleeping tablet. Right, I didn't sleep much either - but I managed, no problem.

When I came back I thought I would try without - I don't want to be taking them now I am starting work again (yep, that's bothering me too) - so, since I came home have only taken 2.

Sometimes I go to sleep at 5 am.... sometimes at 6am... I get so damn tired - but don't sleep. I manage maybe a few hours, most usually broken sleep.

I hadn't thought of that, the meds side of it - maybe I should just take them and hope I don't remember the dreams. It's pants. I hate not sleeping - but then again, I don't want to sleep if that's gonna happen again.

Thanks - need to consider that.
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  2  
Reply Wed 3 Sep, 2008 12:19 pm
I think for sure you need to visit a sleep specialist.

Sleeping is so important to your overall health and well being...you won't function properly without it.

Izzie
 
  2  
Reply Wed 3 Sep, 2008 05:20 pm
@Bella Dea,
Yep Bella - spot on gal.

attempting bed now... have a book to read... taken a sleeping tablet... Up in 6 hours.... wish me luck please... scary closing eyes right now. Don't want to be fearful again like this morning. Scared.... make that scared sh!tless of pinks dove and half eaten folk... maybe I can hair eye ball them.... who knows a?

Thanku all for responding and apolgies for for patheticness.

Going to attempt kinesilogy....my boss recommends.... ( all a lot of dosh, but it if works, what's borrowed dosh a?

Cheers - sleep well all. x
Rockhead
 
  2  
Reply Wed 3 Sep, 2008 05:24 pm
@Izzie,
Hugs, and warm milk...
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Sep, 2008 05:31 pm
@Rockhead,
Thankyou sweetheart.....

ran out of milk here... too scared to run to the post office when I woke up - no-one sells any close.... nemmind.. I ate a Toblerone.... mmmmm good - contains milk (not a bood bedtime snack.... I know - tasted darn good tho. Wink
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Sep, 2008 01:28 am
@Izzie,
'Tis really bad when you don't even remember writing the last two posts ^^made on here...

Sheesh....

Slept 5 hours.... with pill.... can't remember anything.
Izzie
 
  2  
Reply Sat 13 Sep, 2008 10:43 am
@Izzie,
What has happened in 24 hours.

Such a huge range of emotions. Mostly, nearly all, good.

Started taking the sleeping pills again at nite… still not much sleep but no nightmares that I have been remembering…

I had to sleep just now… was very tired and my heart was beating a little on the fast side having had an IM conversation which I felt hurt after, let down and as usual, allowed to happen. I looked at the clock…4.30pm…. I slept maybe for 20mins…. it went like this:

at my old house, lots of people , I don’t know if they were good or bad… I knew they were there, they were trying to get in the doors " the locks weren’t working, I was screaming down a phone which wasn’t a phone but could hear my father’s voice, but he couldn’t hear mine, I couldn’t get the doors to lock and their fingertips were getting past the door, I was screaming for the little fella to find a place to hide, just telling him to hide where no-one could find him, somewhere safe…. then the phone rang….

And it did… it rang for real " little fella picked it up downstairs, I woke up, cold sweat, absolutely terrified and felt my heart was gonna come out of my chest it was beating so fast…. I just lay there until I realized it had been a dream…

Horrible horrible horrible fear…. Just so scared.

Heart has calmed down some now, but feel sick at the thought of it, I still feel scared " it’s a beautiful day, the sun is shining, yesterday was a great day, today…. It was fine….
Sheesh - I couldn’t have slept more than 20 mins, I felt I was awake for at least 10 mins before I fell asleep… how can it possibly be so vivid in the middle of the day in such a short time, when yesterday was so good and all was positive (other than an IM conversation)
It’s sh!te " scary doesn’t even come close… total cold fear. UGH

K " just got it out of my head now....
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sat 13 Sep, 2008 02:18 pm
@Izzie,
You've got an enormous amount of stress in your life. I haven't been following yabber liner (sorry) but from this dream it's pretty obvious that you have stressors, and I'm figuring they stem mainly from the IM and/or who you were IM'ing with, or about, but possibly from other causes.

Is there any way you could, I dunno, take a break? IM less often, or more on your own terms? Get someone to help you with the things that are stressing you? I don't want to be nosy about your private life or anything, just concerned because (a) you're not sleeping and (b) when you do, it's fraught with terror -- and that's got something to do with not sleeping (so the small amounts of REM sleep you are getting are really intense) and also with not being able to sleep (perhaps some unsurfaced fear that, when you do sleep, it means terror, so you may be unconsciously avoiding situations where you can get your rest), and around and around you go.
0 Replies
 
Foxfyre
 
  2  
Reply Sat 13 Sep, 2008 02:31 pm
In my unscientific and unexpert opinion, I have come to believe that 'bad dreams' are not only normal but are common. It's just that we don't remember many of them any more than we remember most of any dreams. People who sleep normally dream every night, but the dreams that I recall upon waking, good or bad, are pretty rare. Some, both good and bad, can be quite vivid though if we awaken during the dream. These we can continue to experience physical and emotional sensations for a brief period upon wakening.

Upon awakening I have continued to feel brief sexual arousal, strong emotions followed by relief to discover that the miserable or embarrassing or disappointing situation was only a dream, feeling euphoria followed by disappointment when a really great dream was only a dream, feeling terrified followed by great relief to discover that a terrifying situation was only a dream.

Some guests on late night Art Bell or George Noury radio shows have suggested such dreams are actual out-of-body experiences. I think I'll reserve judgment about that. Smile

Personally I just think bad dreams are simply us working out latent feelings of embarrassment, frustration, fears etc. when we sleep so that we aren't distracted by them so much when we're awake.
Izzie
 
  2  
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2008 09:15 am
@Foxfyre,
I got home after work… my eyes went straight to something kind gentle IM person had left on my doorstep " kind….. but …. even more let down than one can possibly imagine….. idiot

I needed to sleep from work… I should realise by now…

So I just woke up, eyes wide open, I could still feel what I just dreamed… not pleasant… it seems if I have my prescribed sleep in the afternoon, just what the doc ordered " I am not due to have the rest that goes with it. An hour, not even, this time… I remember just the ending " makes me feel sick " even after I open my eyes and stare " until I blink, it goes on… ugh.

I don’t want to sleep in the afternoons " but my body chooses to shutdown at times " my brain chooses to work overtime. I’m not sure what to do about that. If I don’t listen to the doc and my body then I know I’ll have black outs again. Trying to do what I’m told " B*stid thoughts just kick in and I can’t stop them. I feel sick. Crying is good right now.




Positive is... not having blackouts. I can remember every damn thing.






Jes " no sorries please re reading the Yabber… it’s a light safe place there, no place for this or my cr*p. Yes… I hear what you’re saying. You’re right. I know it. I wish it would stop…..dead. It won’t.

Foxfyre " thanks….I hear too what you are saying.





No worries… this too shall pass. It's just a dream...
Foxfyre
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2008 09:32 am
@Izzie,
One thing you might do that could help--put on really soothing music or one of those tapes of ocean waves or birds chirping or similar pleasant sounds. Have it loud enough to really hear it well but not so loud that it is uncomfortable. Make sure that none of the music is associated with anything stressful or unpleasant. That could make a difference.

I have about a dozen different movies that are 'white noise' to me when I sleep. If I'm having trouble with restless or unrestful sleep or insomnia, I can put on one of those in the room and sleep like a baby with almost no bad dreams.

I have noticed when I doze off at the computer in my office chair, I generally do remember dreams when I awaken and they are often stressful dreams. I don't have an explanation for that.
0 Replies
 
Foxfyre
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2008 09:49 am
@Izzie,
I remember one period following a pretty serious illness and surgery that my dreams were particularly unpleasant, even to the point where I dreaded going to sleep. Another time I was dealing with a family member with a chemical dependency and it was during the recovery period that the old tapes ran in my dreams and I would awaken extremely upset. Following the death of my mother more than 2-1/2 decades ago, she surfaced in my dreams for years afterward and some of these were extremely stressful and/or unpleasant and yes, I would waken with tears in my eyes. She would be alive again and we had sold her house and given away her belongings and felt terribly guilty. (I translate that one to feelings of guilt at 'prospering' from her death.) I sometimes dream of our beloved little dog that we finally had to put to sleep--one of the worst days of our lives--and relive that again--not fun at all. During a group 'fight' in one organization I belonged to, I would find myself dreaming of extremely stressful and unpleasant confrontational exchanges and awaken actually trembling and shaking because I would be so angry and/or frustrated.

Of course there are the dreams where you need to urinate in a public place and do.....you're naked in a crowd.....or something terrifying is chasing you and you can't dial a phone, you can't load the gun, you can't run to get away. . . .all certainly symbolic of something but I'm not sure what.

The bad dreams lessened as I grew older, however, and they are rare these days. But I think those flurries of them that I had when I was more your age, Izzie, just come from the stress of being your age that includes responsibilities of being a parent, holding down a job, etc. etc. etc. Unless they begin to serously affect you in noticably adverse ways, I wouldn't worry about them all that much.

Yes, in all probability, this too shall pass.
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 10:22 am
A year down the line.

The nightmares are horibble, horrible horrible.

Every afternoon that I rest.

I'm still an insomniac.

Not strictly true... in that I do sleep now, hypnotic sleep, with double dose sleeping tablets. Actually, I white in, and black out completely - sometimes I still think I black out in the day. The doctor believes I am actually sleeping when I feel as tho I've blacked out. I don't remember a jot and lose time.

I take my potion at nite, and I'm dead to the world and don't remember a thing, not even how I get to bed................conversations............ nothing. Don't remember anything.

I guess, I have induced sleep of 5, maybe 6 hours a nite - but only with zopilcone - I don't sleep without it - my body is fatigued and distraught. I have to sleep in order to go to work, drive, be human. Therefore, according to the doc - a couple of docs that are heavily involved with my RA/SLE - I have to sleep, I need to take the potion. I agree (now)- I know I don't sleep. I know I have to rest in the afternoon.

anyway, that's by the by... <rolls eyes, pathetic>

the nightmare this afternoon was particularly awful - it brought me to tears and I've been awake over half an hour, I can't shed it.

I go thru the same routine every afternoon. I work, come home, have to sleep - nightmare - wake up and wonder which part was true, dread my life if any part of the nightmare could be true - none of it is, of course - but it feels real enough - it makes me feel terrible.

If this is REM - then I don't want it. I hate it. I can't bear it. My heart is going ten to the dozen and I wanna scream. I am, screaming, in my head.

There is truly no pleasure in resting because my stupid body is tired and waking up, or being awake in a semi-trance like state - feeling everything and trying to stop everything that is going on in the nightmare. Physically not being able to move coz my body has shut down or 'whatever', yet my eyes are open and all I can feel is the terror of the nightmare. I hate it. HATE IT.

Now I'm angry about it. I don't do anger, it's a strange feeling these days.

Tomorrow I will do the same again.

It's pants.
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 10:51 am
@Izzie,
I missed this thread the first time around.

Sorry you're still struggling with your "day"mares, Iz. Methinks there's some stuff churning around inside that bubbles up when you sleep. It doesn't happen so much at night because you stay awake until the pills take over (HA! choc and tea, be damned Wink ) and then you don't know whether you're dreaming or not. I know you hate to sleep in the daytime because it's so restless (rather than the rest you're supposed to be getting).

Maybe time to start writing down the theme of the daymares and show them to someone who can help you sort through the messages.

Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Sep, 2009 03:43 am
@JPB,
Yep - what's the point in resting when it's so bl**dy awful! At work right now and I'm pretty much OK when I'm here, but as soon as I leave, fatigue kicks in, so by the time I get home, I just have to sleep - usually anyways.

I dread sleep without being knocked out.

Being semi-conscious as I seem to me part of the night/day'mare is the worst. You try to move, but can't and the images are so clear, you can feel what's going on. Ugh.

Nem'mind.

Work calls - had my few mins break...
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  2  
Reply Wed 21 Sep, 2011 12:14 pm



I was so tired. Nothing at school worked today, it’s like I was an electrical isolator – the printer, the telephones, the photocopier, the shredder went backwards – nothing was working properly, it was infuriating to the point of comical, the keyboard kept defaulting to numbers lock, Fn press the F number, can’t remember which one, 11 I think. Little boy whose a runner ran straight out the front door which should never be open, he didn’t go far but then a little girl trapped her fingers in the toilet doors, she’s only 4, the netball and football teams turned up for the tournament so I had to stay longer as no-one was at the front…

I had to sleep when I came home, so tired….

<cold, couldn’t get warm under the doona>

Drifted… seemingly endlessly

What was that film with the ice and the water and being dragged under, not The Sixth Sense, no, not The Fifth Sense or Element; The Dead Zone, that’s the one

K-bro arrived with Loops and Tulip came in with the kids after him – it was a hot day, rocks that lit up, there was a beach and the sunset, we were at the sunset, I had a camera but I wasn’t shooting, Tulip had gone and Kev was dancing his silly dance as my brother appeared in the doorway – he brought a cake, on a cake stand – he would never do that. I thanked him and asked him why he was here, it was for “the day”… what day, what day, did I miss a day, what day would you bring a cake for

Where was I when they cut the cake, I think I slept through it whilst everyone ate cake, it was coffee cake - I don't eat coffee cake, it's like the Revels Kev brought to the rugby on Saturday

I had gone to bed

There was a present from Beth, on my pillow I don’t know where it came from, a small round pillow circle just a few inches big, soft, I’d seen it before, I was sure S had put it there, he had made me one once which said "MUM" which is in the mouldy car compartment that had milk spilt in it once, but iin the dream he said he hadn’t on my bed where there was a spider thismorning, he looked all wide-eyed and promised forever he hadn’t put it there when I asked him – everything is so familiar, but so far away - words in black text “For You”

I got in the car, we were going so fast, too fast to stop, I had to swerve in quick and could see the kids faces smiling at me in the back seat of the car in front, my car stopped dead like it had crashed but it hadn’t, it stopped all of a sudden, it always does it in the same place on the road past Betty Cottles and going down the hill, why does it always stop there, it’s like I should have crashed there, but didn’t, not yet, it's happened in the same place so many times

I was at the doctors, I don't know why, he gave me a piece of dark blue paper and started filling it out, he kept turning it around and then drew some more, his hand was drawing a spiral four different times, but I was in the spiral, I could see the long grass changing and made a pattern - you had to go with the pattern. I was watching the light in the long grasses, the light was parting the grasses which were like palm leaves or rushes that Bear Grylls would use to make a hammock on the deserted island with sharks

I was following the pattern and was up high because when the doorbell rang, I ran but I ran so fast that my shoe came off, I had to hop down the steps, through a scullery and there was Tulip looking through the French doors in the lounge smiling – the children were only about 6 years old. She Tulip had chocolates, Thorntons in a gold box. Why were the children so young… She thanked me for a wonderful family day with K-bro.

I didn’t know why we were all together. There had to be a reason. I was missing something. I am missing something.

I semi-awoke, half in, half out of it, had the covers pulled up tight, someone kissed me below my ear, I thought it was Kev at first saying goodbye, but it wasn’t. Soft at first, I remained asleep and then longer staying connected, just kissed me longer on my cheek below my ear, it could have been “it will be alright,” or was it “hello” or “I’m here”, or “goodbye”

dust

Heart was beating bang bang bang when I woke at dusk, scared, don’t know, the water hadn’t taken me in the fish pond, I broke through but it was so cold, so cold, it tried to drag me under but I broke through – the doctor was familiar, I knew him but I don’t know where from; lay there for a while trying to figure what was real, had something happened, had I woken out of 8 years sleep. Opened eyes, it continued, Charlie was wearing a beaded tunic, no it should have been a long dress like the one from the moors in the sun, it has to be a long dress, not a tunic and cropped faded jeans - how did we buy the same jeans again when we weren’t together, lay there for a few minutes longer , then I found myself downstairs, and typing to remember

Remembering, remembering, it’s fading fast, the unease is still there, or is it, could be acceptance…it’ll be gone as soon as I speak or do something, it’s almost gone now, the spell will be broken

I haven’t turned the light on yet, the house is dark, I can hear Scooby snoring on his mat

Writing to remember something I don’t know, something that hasn’t happened but when it does, I’ll know I knew it already.

The tea beside me is cold. Was it from when I came in or when I came downstairs. If I taste something the dream will end.

Time to turn on the light and put the kettle on.

Phone is ringing. Mustn’t answer it yet, it will stop now, it's broken but somethings still there.



REM sleep - man, that's weird Shocked



0 Replies
 
 

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