"Black Tie Requested"

I called Simon -- he's one of Reggie's younger brothers -- and left a voice
message "Hey Simon, it's Skip. I need fashion and etiquette advice and I heard
you were the man."

He called back laughing. He knew exactly what I was talking about. Simon
thinks it's a pain in the keister too. Turns out he doesn't own his own tux so he'll
have to rent for himself and for his two boys. No hope of his just opting for a
suit, though. Damn. I was hoping for some company below the salt.

4 Replies

@George,

And his boys?! How old are the boys? I think it would be a huge expense to pay for children too!

1 Reply

@George,

You're in for it now, George, er, Skip. We're going to want to see photos of what you do wear..

1 Reply

@George,

I'm telling you - buy yourself a nice re-tread tux. Take it to the dry-cleaner.

It's worth the total $50 - $75 investment - and having it is good incentive to nevah evah gain any weight.

You're going to be getting a decent amount of use out of it as your kids go to uni and more formal award ceremonies and their friends get married and they get married and there are destination weddings and and and ...

1 Reply

Maybe I'm just simply out of the mainstream but reading through this thread I realized that my opinion is pretty well solidified.

a) There is no obligation to have to attend a wedding or anything else that is going to cost you a good deal to attend. If you are a family member or close friend or whatever, there IS an implied obligation to attend but only IF you are not required to pay a significant sum to do so.

b) I think it is poor form to organize an event so expensive that only well to do friends and relatives are in a position to participate without significant financial pain. When did our society come to a decision to make it that way?

c) Those who think it imperative that a particular person attends a function should offer to pay the cost of that person to do so. In other words the bride should foot the bill for the ugly bridesmaid dresses and the groom should foot the bill for the tux rentals, etc.

d) There is a social obligation to send a respectful regret to an invitation that you will be unable to attend. You do not have to be specific why you cannot though it is okay to say that unfortunate circumstances or prior obligations or whatever will not allow me to attend, but please accept my heartfelt best wishes or whatever.

Okay, Miss Manners probably just canceled my membership in the club, but that's the way I feel about it anyway.

1 Reply

@George,

I found you a tux to buy for $99.99

http://www.overstock.com/Clothing/Giorgio-Fiorelli-Mens-2-button-Black-Tuxedo/3243753/product.html?

2 Replies

@Linkat,

That's less than a weekend rental here. Excellent find!

0 Replies

@Linkat,

Linkat wrote:

And his boys?! How old are the boys? I think it would be a huge expense to pay for children too!

Fourteen and ten.
A waste of money in my opinion (the rentals, not the kids).

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

osso wrote:

You're in for it now, George, er, Skip. We're going to want to see photos of what you do wear..

You asked for it!

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Beth wrote:

I'm telling you - buy yourself a nice re-tread tux. Take it to the dry-cleaner.

It's worth the total $50 - $75 investment - and having it is good incentive to nevah evah gain any weight.

You're going to be getting a decent amount of use out of it as your kids go to uni and more formal award ceremonies and their friends get married and they get married and there are destination weddings and and and ...

That's a good option.

The only thing is, I never get invited to such things. This is the first
invitation to a formal wedding I've ever received.

But I'm definitely considering this, thank you.

1 Reply

@George,

I agree - unless they are part of the wedding party - it seems insane for them to have tuxes. At my wedding, we paid for the ring bearers tux rental because I thought it would be too big an expensive for his parents and because I wanted him to have a matching tux to the groom - he was adorable by way.

0 Replies

@Foxfyre,

Foxie wrote:

There is no obligation to have to attend a wedding or anything else that is going to cost you a good deal to attend. If you are a family member or close friend or whatever, there IS an implied obligation to attend but only IF you are not required to pay a significant sum to do so.

I understand what you mean. But this is Reggie's daughter and I will go. In spite
of, shall we say, lifestyle differences, we have a close bond. Only a month ago I
kept vigil with reggie and his brothers in a hospice room where their father, my
uncle, lay dying.

Quote:

I think it is poor form to organize an event so expensive that only well to do friends and relatives are in a position to participate without significant financial pain. When did our society come to a decision to make it that way?

Ditto that!

I don't mean to be crying poor-mouth here. The cost of the rentals isn't
going to break me. I just resent being presured into doing it.

I don't think Miss Manners would disagree with you. Well, about this,
anyway.

0 Replies

@Linkat,

Cool!

1 Reply

@George,

George wrote:

This is the first invitation to a formal wedding I've ever received.

your kids are just getting into prime time territory - the next 15 years will be expensive

Enjoy!

1 Reply

@boomerang,

Quote:

It's this whole "bride rules" that gets me about weddings.

We went to a formal wedding this year. We flew thousands of miles, rented a house to host some family who would not otherwise have been able to afford to come, rented a car, etc. It was really expensive but it was "soooo important to the bride that everyone be there".

On the day of the wedding Mr. B discovered that he had left his formal shoes at home. Not having time (or at that point, the money) to buy shoes to wear once, he slipped on his casual shoes and off we went.

We had barely set foot out of the car when the shoes became a Major Issue.

It was sooooo important that we be there as long as we were wearing the right shoes, I guess.

A pair of two sizes too small shoes were found so that Mr. B could spend the beautiful evening in pain, but at least his casual shoes didn't ruin absolutely everything.

Weddings have become ridiulous.

Wow, that is certainly ridiculous...

But I once attended a wedding, where in the end I had the impression I (and the other guests) where only there for the presents...

0 Replies

@George,

psssssst, George.

you busy monday after work?
http://able2know.org/topic/67974-38#post-3367054

0 Replies

@George,

Quote:

Re: ossobuco (Post 3365257)
osso wrote:
You're in for it now, George, er, Skip. We're going to want to see photos of
what you do wear..
You asked for it!

Here's what Clive and I finally wore. Dark suits with subtly patterned black ties,

http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/4944/georgeandrhysdd4.jpg

"Black Tie Requested"

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