How much money should I put in this card?

Your "dollar dance" rates seem a little stiff, but I agree on the $100 per head who's going to attend as a minimum. Black Tie affairs should be higher... because the $100 won't even cover dinner.

Bella Dea wrote:

A gift should be looked upon as a gift and one should never snub their nose up at any gift given. Some people can't even afford $50 but want to give what they can

Absolutely true. If your friends want you to attend their wedding, they should be aware of your financial situation well enough not to expect the "usual" gift. In fact, I think that the bride or groom should call each of their friends who they know couldn't come if they thought that their gift would be considered an insult if it was under a certain set rate.

Greed enters into way too many weddings instead of focus being on the the celebration of the love and commitment of a couple.

Does, "What was the take?" sound like a good start to a long, loving and honorable life and relationship?

I do hope that you will attend, Kicky, and enjoy. Forty dollars is just fine!!

What do you do in the case where it a "gift" ends up costing the bride and groom money. We received a check that bounced so high - it said do not try to redeposit. We were charged $10. My thought was if you can't afford a gift, a nice card with a note is fine, but don't cause us additional expenses.