Beautiful = Shallow. Discuss...

GD - Not by me !!!! What I meant was there must be some blokes/girls who do go by serial killer looks

After all, beauty is in the eyes of the beerholder...oops, beholder.

Wilso - Maybe these people recognise their own massive faults and take it out on others to compensate?

That's as good an explanation as I've heard!

what does not saying nice things about others have to do with being shallow?

I meant if the things they were saying were to do with physical aspects of another (weight, attire) rather than something like intelligence.

She's neither smart nor attractive, but I've heard her insult everything from people's looks, intelligence, fashion sense, you name it-she's talked about it. And not just behind their back. I've seen her walk into a room, turn to someone she hasn't seen in six months, and just say straight out that their clothes don't suit them.

How rude. She says that to the wrong person and they'll knock her on her ass!

I've known her since school. She's my sister-in-law's best friend. And I can't stand being around her for more than 30 seconds.

I don't doubt that for a second. I'm just surprised to hear that she actually has a friend.

No offense, but my experience is that it's a lot easier for women to get away with being total arseholes.

No offense taken, but I can't say I agree.

I think that's wrong, wilso. In fact, I think it's the other way around, as men seem to find it easier to tell women off than women find it to tell men off.

Also, being rude is not the same as being shallow. At least, I rate them as very different characteristics. A shallow person can still be a nice person - just without any deep or interesting thoughts. And I certainly know some people who think deeply about any number of subjects, yet are rude as all get out. I'd rather be with the nice, shallow person most days, than with the rude philosopher.

I think sozobe was very close to the facts about beauty=shallow back on page two.

As a former beautiful person, I can say that society gives a pass to most 'beautiful' people. You are the teacher's pet, and others around you will do stuff for you that you should be doing yourself. They overlook your foibles and crappy traits--because, hey, you're beautiful. When this goes on for most of your life, you haven't really had to hone your opinions, or work very hard at anything-- Its sort of like Affirmative Action, in some unfair, twisted way.

So, you are at a deficit in motivation to do a lot of things yourself. If you don't realize what's happening, this can give you a false sense of your own worth. Plus, you never learned how to change a tire, pump your own gas, do your own homework, earn money to pay for your stuff, and so on... Your sense of personal responsibility is skewed, because you get stopped for speeding, but never get a ticket. Can you imagine what these people must feel like when they age--and their life changes dramatically, if they have somewhere along the line fooled themselves into believing these special treatments were due to anything other than their appearance?

Poor babies!! A little compassion, please! :wink:

PS-- I never treated ugly guys rudely when they came on to me. (But, I did give 'gross out' stories, later.) Nobody's perfect.

OK! Formerly or currently beautiful-types, come out of the closet and testify!!

Gautum, husker, wimmin...?

I was often called beautiful (still am but mostly by those who love me) and back in my young and tender days, if I didn't get at least four or five comeons during the eight hour workday the planets were out of line or something. That kind of thing just didn't happen to moi. I could get the attention of any man I chose.
But honestly, my parents were not focused on such things. They didn't spoil me because of my looks. I didn't get away with a damn thing and I think that makes all the difference. How your parents treat you.
My looks got me into velvet-roped clubs and parties and I too never changed my own tires, pumped my own gas or carried my own groceries but I was brought up to be kind and thoughtful of other people and altho' I may not have always been, it was in me, my mode of operandi, and that's the way I was most of the time.
It's true what you say Sofia. It's hard growing older and no longer having the power to "pull", if you so choose. The last guy I set out to get the attention of was my husband ten years ago. It worked. My last hurrah. I no longer receive the admiring looks that I was so accustomed to back in the day. Younger men look passed me now like I'm invisible and that took some getting used to. But, I look at it this way. I had my time. Now it's someone elses' time.

Eyup, that's what I was thinking, Sofia. Formerly, myself, but I was just talking to E.G. (the day before I posted that), about how until I was 19 or so I basically never had a contingency plan because I didn't need one. Forget my bus fare? Look sad, and a couple of guys would offer it or the driver would wave me through. I'd get free meals. I'd get free books. I'd get pretty damn well whatever I wanted, without even trying.

When I was 19 or so it finally started to get to me -- this ain't right. So I started turning down the proffered bus fare, even if I needed it. I made a conscious effort to be responsible, because I didn't like being irresponsible and not thinking about these things. But I didn't have to, is the thing. And I saw a lot of my friends continue along the freebie path, in matters both fiscal and more abstract, and we drifted apart.

At any rate, there are plenty of people I know who are beautiful (not formerly, either), who are also very intelligent, interesting people. But I think it's a lot easier for beautiful people to follow the path of least resistance, and end up pretty shallow.

We will survive.
"Twas good while it lasted.
Quite a kick in the buttocks to one day not be 'the hot chick', but the hot chick's mother.... :wink:

But, you know--the mental/emotional trade off is well worth it. I like me more now, at 42, than I did at 32. Life is more peaceful, somehow. Too bad the peak of the body doesn't coincide with the peak of maturity.

That's how I see it. It was good while it lasted. But it IS more peaceful now. I'm not aware of being watched all the time anymore and that actually does feel better.

I saw heaps of examples of that tonight. Stunning women the dorkiest looking dudes you can imagine.

Nuttin' wrong with MILFs there Sofia, we mins like 'em just fine...