At a loss

My mom went through brain surgery this year. She came out of it ok, there were some complications later due to the medicine she was on and because of it she has to use a coloscopy (sp) bag for an undetermined amount of time. There have been many up's and down's. She is in the recovery proccess and having to take chemo pills and the whole nine yards. Actually, to be quite specific, my mom has exactly what Ted Kennedy just went through. But the recovery process is hard on her. She is only getting sicker mentally and the sicker she thinks she is the more people there are trying to help lend a hand. But my mom has this unusual habbit of thinking she's burdening the world with her medical problems. She thinks for some reason that these people don't really want to help, they just feel obligated since she is sick.

Since my brother is useless in pretty much all aspects of my moms situation, my dad and I are the only two trying to figure out whats wrong with her or what is making her so depressed.

Today was pretty f-ing bad. I came down stairs to find her on the couch with her daytimer...crying. I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was looking at her calendar to determine which day she was going to kill herself. She started crying because she realized she couldn't do it soon because at the end of this month is my brothers birthday. What am I supposed to say to that? Your mother tells you she can't handle the recovery process anymore and wants to kill herself and you find her planning out they day? I tried to comfort her but she just kept going on, so then I told her that thoughts of suicide go against her very own religion and are wrong. She looked at me dead in the eyes, said to me ".... you just don't care", and stood up and walked out of the room.

I know its the pills, I know its all the drugs that are making her feel this way plus a mixture of her own conscienceness is all probably very confusing to her. It hasn't even been a year yet! We just lost someone in the family from cancer who had it for YEARS! Like 20-25 years she went through it and it finally wore her out. I don't know what it's like to be my mom right now and I have no idea what she is going through, and I know that a little less than a year can seem like an eternity. But I look at some of these brave women out there who battled through it all and fought and are still alive today. And then I see my mom... being a quitter. She's quitting on life. I know that must seem harsh to hear but if those women can do it, so can she. I don't have kids, but when I do, she needs to be there for them. It is important to me. She needs to fight for that.. or at least fight for something.

I don't know what to do. I left my husband becase he was an abusive bipolar prick and I couldn't handle that... and I flee to my parents to find my mother going through brain surgery and now she wants to commit suicide. What the hell do I do?!