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Sun 6 Jul, 2008 05:20 pm
I was on the internet just a minute ago, bored, which is slightly unusual for me. Anyway, I did a 106 question quiz on 'emotional intelligence'- a test which calculates how emotionally mature you are.
Stupidly, i'll admit, I was expecting to do really well. I'm philosophical and lateral and I can hold lots of differing perspectives and contrasting thoughts and ideas in my mind and understand them. I thought it would be a breeze.
Anyway. I got a figure of 108 which is ever so slightly under average.
So I searched and did another quiz, tried a bit harder (or tried to guess the answers they were looking for) and scored average EQ.
Well, this is all rather introspective, but what I realised is that whereas some aspects of my EQ are very strong, the areas concerning myself, others are very weak. I am happy, confident, I seize opportunities, set goals, think positively. I am very in tune with myself, yet perhaps because I am SO in tune with myself (or under that illusion at any rate). I miss out on what others are feeling.
Sure, I know what most people are thinking (or so i gather) and I can logically work out arguments, differing opinions, solutions and the like, but I'm awful at telling what people are feeling.
Anyway, I realise this is a load of selfish guff, but what I want to know is: what exactly am I missing out on? That may sound dumb, in fact the whole thing does, but I'm beginning to worry that I'm seen as a jellyfish.
Obviously I need to start paying more attention to the way people feel, and how to read various signs. I'm pretty savvy about relationships, but it all tends to come from logic, not intuition.
It's probably from being an only child.
What value does emotional intelligence have when concerned with other people?
PQ, I have no idea what my EQ score would be, but I know for a fact that in social gathering whether with close friends or acquaintances, I get pretty positive acknowledgements.
However, I have had run-ins with many on a2k, and have been called names and anti-Semite!
If you know me at all on a2k, you would know that I travel extensively. In all of my travels, new friends have been very generous to me by offering use of their homes when in their neighborhood, gift of an original art work (from Dan Piel), and other kindnesses and sharing (such as joining a couple or group for dinner). Also, offers to travel again in the future to some specific destinations.
I used to be very sensitive as a child, but have outgrown them later in life. Rather, I have transformed myself into some kind of aggressive a2ker who has no qualms about butting heads with most posters I disagree with. I've met several in person at a2k gatherings, and we got along just fine.
I think people will arrive at their own opinion about who you are, and how they will relate to you. I think EQ is over-rated unless one still reacts like a teenager as an adult.
I remember reading about single children, and it had to do with being spoiled by their parents and not understanding how to share, but that was decades ago and probably outdated by now.
Re: Emotional Intelligence
The Pentacle Queen wrote:It's probably from being an only child.
I wasn't familar with the concept at all so I found an on-line test and took it. It also happened to be 106 questions so it might well have been the same WWW site. I scored 109 - one point above your score.
But I have 7 siblings so I can't attribute it to being an only child.
But it seems to be just another presonality inventory type test - similar to Myers-Briggs but more limited in scope.
These tests are Ouija boards. They are based on nothing and mean nothing (outside of any meaning you give the results after the fact).
Take them if they amuse you... but they are no more indicative of anything important than horoscopes or fortune cookies.
Awe shucks, and I've been depending on this fortune cookies most of my life.
Find me someone who can define "emotional maturity" in a way that doesn't describe their own personality, and I will be a little less skeptical.
Someone who :
- recognises their own feelings and others
- understands & accepts the sources of their emotions
- accepts their feelings & others / recognises the personal validity of peoples emotions
- expresses/directs their emotions in productive and healthy ways
- who is able to help others express/direct their emotions in productive and healthy ways
Perhaps other attributes also.
Rule number one: just be kind to all.
Haven't taken the test, but this is a new catch phrase in education. A guy named Gardner (with Harvard, I think) developed a set of learning styles. These define the WAY in which we learn. I tend to tie everything into the natural world, all new learning (or most of it) is built on the matrix of nature. I have strong naturalist (not sure of the right term) intelligence. I'm also spatial. But, I DO NOT have musical intelligence.
Anyway, he started with 4 or 5 intelligences and expanded into naturalist and emotional intelligences. Defining a student's style can help us target a teaching approach to the child.
I think Gardner has something valid to say, people have different strengths and not just traditional academic smarts are important. The problem is when you try to turn the diversity of human personality and cognition into a set of numbers.
I am highly skeptical that anyone has ever benefited by being tagged with a number (or a set of numbers in this case).
I am all for recognizing and appreciating peoples differences. I am just against the need to test and quantify it.
((ebrown sobs quietly into his shirtsleeve))
By the way, emotional maturity is different from emotional intelligence
Yeah? oh please do explain!
What value does emotional intelligence have when concerned with other people?
It's a good question. But I think you don't need to worry about it. You were probably better off before you took the test...mainly because now you're overthinking it.
I am a big baby...pretty flakey and have large moments of massive insecurites. But...I have really sweet friends. So I am either very blessed or I have a lot of people feeling sorry for me that are just being my friends because of it. God, please no. I guess it could be a little of both :wink:
Don't worry PQ...I am with those that say those tests really mean very little.
Very little? How about "nada, zilch, zero, worthless, waste of time, useless, no merit, ...."
Gee, I think that was a bit over-board.
What Cicerone Imposter said. :wink:
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