Chatting someone up??

As someone said on your other thread, you're over-thinking. You don't even know if you'll see him again and you're all worked up about this. This is not a criticism, just an observation. Can you see it?

There are many, many nice people out there who don't 'connect' because there's just something missing. Nothing wrong with that - we can't connect with everybody. If there's a connection between you, he'll let you know, so just be natural.

just walk up to him and say " would you like to maybe have coffee sometime? "

he says no ? then say thats fine! you just seemed ( funny.. interesting.. something.. )

he says yes.. Then go

it isnt unprofessional.

just do it.

I know what you mean Mame...............maybe I'm just thinking too much or something............just that I really want to try and take charge of who I'm with next time. I want to be happy. I really do see where I went wrong with the two previous blokes. Probably stems from that.................Believe me the men who I've hooked up with in the past were real nuts underneath. I promised myself not to get involved with anyone like that and ditch them straightaway. Honestly I used to really not bother and left it totally to chance..................don't think that quite works either. Was just self analysing myself I guess and hoping I was coming across as approachable to some of the men I really would be interested in.

without looking desperate.............I guess what will be will be then..........

Thanks Shewolfnm.........I'm not sure I have the courage loll!!!
Maybe I will if I see him again...........there are so many philosophies to life aren't there????................

some of them like.......................don't let a chance go by....................take the bull by the horns................you only regret what haven't done in your life................

OR

what will be will be...................(you know advice like that don't remember them now loll))

But you all see what I'm getting at.................i hate this dating thing..............may just bale out altogether hahahahaha!!

Jamelia, given your history with men, why not just be friends or friendly with these fellows without thinking of a possible romance/relationship? It's a far better way to find out about them, get to know them, and then see how you feel. Take it slowly.

We don't NEED to have a relationship, you know. You may think you WANT one, but how do you know if this fellow is going to be a good one? Get to know him FIRST.

Big sigh...................

It would be great if I could even find men to talk to as friends.
Work takes up most of my day and then I'm tired by the end.
Getting out there and finding them is becoming an issue lollll!!!
I've just moved back to my family's hometown and friends are even scarce. Most are in couples or married and don't go out much.
Internet dating seems like hard work. I've noticed a lot of the men on there have been on there for months and months, I have lost faith, I don't think any of them want a relationship.........just playing the field.

Fed up today!!!!

what about the dudes at your job?

I agree with Mame. Try just to be friendly for friends sake. That way you get to know him a little bit first too. And the worst thing that happens in this case if he does have a girl friend or after getting to know him you don't think you could have a romantic relationship is that you have another friend.

The dudes in my job are far and few between. I work in a predominantly female profession.
That's why when I saw this guy at this new place I thought wow!!
Trouble is I'm on supply work at the moment and don't know where I am from one day to the next!!
I am booked into the place again later this week however, so may try and chat this time!!!

After that it could be peanuts, never to return to the place or see him again lolll!!! Oh well!!!

Right all, this in regard to the guy(teacher) I met whilst on supply at a school. See original above post.

I've recently found out that he was in a band. I've found it on myspace. Well, I was googling his name actually and it came up. Whilst I was in his classroom once he started singing, now I see why.

Anyway, I've also found him on Facebook too. Now I'm kinda thinking that would be a good way to get to know him. I could request him a s a friend or send him a message in regard to stumbling across his band. Thing is will he find it stalkerish? (yer know that I found him on facebook and actually searched his name or something) Yet Facebook is a social networking facility isn't it?? Those of you who know how facebook works etc could you advise. I'm really scared that he won't reply back to my message or I'll make a fool of myself. Back to the professionalism thing again. Or as Mame said maybe I'm just getting my knickers in a twist.

I just keep thinking nothing ventured nothing gained. Dunno if he has a girlfriend. Guess this is one way of finding out??

Advice gratefully received. AND any lines I might be able to give in the message to himm would help as well. Was thinking.............hey! just found your band...........i thought your singign was good in the classroom..............(or does that sound sarcastic?)

Oooo elp!! You see I don't have a clue!!

Look into mirroring to establish rapport (the concept first founded by NLP, but widely adopted in the pick up/love/seduction/rapport industry.

People also operate in one of three modes (another NLP concept taken up by the other industries), of visual, auditory or kinethetic (touch, feeling), which has their own keyword language (eg for visual, I see what you mean, that's clear, let me show you, you're seethrough, what a sight)

People also use keywords in the way they think...mirroring keywords shows a similar way of thinking.

What I'm saying is there are ways to establish a connection that don't rely on being an overt display of 'liking'.

Ok...................deep in thought...............will think about that.