In Tears Today

we're always here to listen

Counselling would more than likely help, and there are some very, very good books on grief and bereavement. I read one my daughter bought after her son died. And he's been gone two yrs this past April and they still go to a bereavement group.

If you feel the need, jodie, seek help. Sometimes the grief just wells up and overwhelms one. This too shall pass. Tomorrow will be better.

{{{hugs}}}

Oh Jodie

I'm so sorry this is hitting you again in this way. I can empathise with how you feel as I am watching a very close friend trying to deal with her bereavement and there are no words to take away the pain. It is so terribly difficult coming to terms with the loss of people who were so close in your heart. You have had more than one loss... you have so much grief to try and deal with. As everyone's life goes on, sometimes the pain is just too much to bear - and it's hard not to scream at the world, and also hard not to lock yourself away from the people who care.

We are here to listen to you - just write it out, even it doesn't make sense, get it out of your head and maybe there will be something that someone says that can help you find a way to heal.

I don't know if there are counsellors here... I think we are all just "folk" who can listen... if you feel that counselling may help - then certainly seek out someone who you can talk to face to face - preferably a stranger who can remain detatched and can therefore give you a different perspective.

Sending you such a big hug right now and wishing you some peace hun.


(((((((((((((((((JODIE))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks for taking the time to listen.
Maybe it would help to purchase a book on bereavement. Sometimes I think I am doing OK but like you said it can be very overwhelming.
Mom was very ill and her death was not unexpected but I can just see her sweet smile. She was bed ridden and how difficult it was for me to see her in this condition. But she just had such a loving caring way about her that I just miss so much. I know she is in a much better place and God knows best. How I would love to give her a hug and spend some time with her. I have to let her go because she was called home to be with the angels.
The day before my brother passed I was by his bedside. He just held my hand and really seemed to spend some time with each family member individually.
He was telling dad how he had been blessed with a long life and how he wished he could live longer. I really think he knew his time was near.
He told his wife the evening before he passed the next morning if I don't see you again I will see you in Heaven. He was so much fun and always made me laugh. I try to tell myself that I have to remember the good times and let him go. I know neither Mom or my brother would want me to grieve . He is also in Heaven and I know they are without pain.

jodie34, grief can feel very overwhelming. But talking about what you are feeling, either here, or in a bereavement group, or with a counselor, can help. Don't hesitate to go for help or to ask for help if you need it.

I noticed that about your mom you said:



And, similarly, about your brother:



But you don't have to let them go--in the sense that they will completely leave you. They will never leave you. They will continue to live inside of you, in your memories of them, and in your love for them. They will always be a part of your life, and a part of you, in a very real and meaningful way. Absolutely nothing, not even death, can take that from you. When you need them, you can call upon them. If you need a laugh, remember how your brother made you laugh. If things are getting you down, listen for your mom's loving, caring voice inside of you. Her love for you is still inside of you, just as your love for her lives on. Some forces are stronger than death, and love is one of those forces.

You couldn't "let them go" even if you wanted to. Allow them to live on inside of you, and allow yourself to be comforted by their loving presence there.

Firefly

You are right, they will always live in my heart.
Thanks, I feel better already.

It has been 3 and a half years since my bride-to-be passed away unexpectedly. I still cry at her grave. Mourning is good for the soul. It proves we are human. But I carry on with life and make it the best life I can, knowing she would have wanted it that way.

And what a wonderful life it is!