NOW THIS IS OLD

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment you on
your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your eye and
your pacemaker opens the garage door.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse
goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by
the doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I
don't need to take any fiber today.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find
your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.