Can we talk manners for a moment?

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Okay, I've just found out my boss from my part-time job is leaving the position soon.

This is where my selfish self comes in-- all I care about is who will be replacing him and what that person will be like. I know I ought to send some kind of "congratulations" to this guy, but quite frankly, I consider him to be slippery and my respect for him is perhaps one notch above car salesman.

Do I have to be nice to him?

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IMO, it won't hurt to be gracious.

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No. Ignore him; he'll be gone soon and shortly thereafter you will have forgotten he ever existed.

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You're right. But I don't want to be gracious-- especially after some of the sneaky things he did. But, you're right. I'll wait a few days before I contact him, it'll give me some time to muster of some kindness.

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There are pleasant ways of saying what you really mean. I recently got a difficult customer who was unbelievably rude to the point of threatening. I spent 20 minutes digging through the loading dock for a product she had been told was in stock (it had been unloaded from a truck that afternoon and was not yet on the floor). It was a fluke I found the right box. When I arrived at customer service she just glared at me (customer service was on the phone with her husband who she had called and he was haranguing them with how mean we had been to his wife...). I dredged up a smile and said, "I'm really glad you didn't have to make a special trip back for this." What I meant, of course, was "I hope I never see you again."

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Tai Chi wrote:

There are pleasant ways of saying what you really mean. I recently got a difficult customer who was unbelievably rude to the point of threatening. I spent 20 minutes digging through the loading dock for a product she had been told was in stock (it had been unloaded from a truck that afternoon and was not yet on the floor). It was a fluke I found the right box. When I arrived at customer service she just glared at me (customer service was on the phone with her husband who she had called and he was haranguing them with how mean we had been to his wife...). I dredged up a smile and said, "I'm really glad you didn't have to make a special trip back for this." What I meant, of course, was "I hope I never see you again."

That's a good story--- and the place you work for ought to be grateful to have you working for them-- especially because good customer service means a lot to the business...unfortunately, your kindness means she Will be back.

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I deal with rude and unpleasant people only once. After that -- they cease to exist.

Figuratively speaking, of course.

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It all depends on what you mean when you say that you know you "ought to"
send him congratulations.

If you mean that that is what's expected and you'd only be doing it
reluctantly and for form's sake, then I'd say no; let him go without a word.

If you mean that by your own standards sending congratulations would be
the right thing to do, then hold your nose and do it. A simple polite message
will do.

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Gala, why add more bullshit to your life. Being nasty will just make your eight hours worse, everyday and lower the quality of your life.

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George wrote:

It all depends on what you mean when you say that you know you "ought to"
send him congratulations.

If you mean that that is what's expected and you'd only be doing it
reluctantly and for form's sake, then I'd say no; let him go without a word.

If you mean that by your own standards sending congratulations would be
the right thing to do, then hold your nose and do it. A simple polite message
will do.

Actually George, it's a little bit of both. His personality is not particularly compatible with mine-- a) he's young and has a short attention span b) he's a salesman c) he's competitive with me. In the past he's said things just to cover himself and never had any intention of doing the things I requested, etc. So it's with mixed feelings.

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Then I'd go with a short, simple note of congratulations...

...and as you write it, play this to yourself...

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George wrote:

Then I'd go with a short, simple note of congratulations...

...and as you write it, play this to yourself...

WHOA!

I always thought that song was sung by a black band.

I am so white.

gala, just be civil, it'll be over soon.

or, maybe it'll work out for you, the way it did for me...

2 days before someone I couldn't stand left, I badly pulled a muscle and had to stay home for 3 days. Really, wasn't faking it.

It was worth the pain.

How do you feel about falling down a short flight of stairs, or maybe just tripping on the gravel in your driveway?

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gustavratzenhofer wrote:

I deal with rude and unpleasant people only once. After that -- they cease to exist.

Figuratively speaking, of course.

Is this why you never talk to me any more?

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I'd just go with a "best wishes on your new job" email

you've lost nothing

you've wished someone well and you haven't compromised anything Smile

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Amigo wrote:

Gala, why add more bullshit to your life. Being nasty will just make your eight hours worse, everyday and lower the quality of your life.

I agree with you Amigo. I won't be nasty-- just restrained, as dealing with him requires restraint, even in his departure. I'd say he gets high grades in Drama he probably wants me to fall to my knees and grab him by the kness and beg him not to go.

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George wrote:

Then I'd go with a short, simple note of congratulations...

...and as you write it, play this to yourself...

Thanks, George. You've enlightened Chai to boot.

Chai wrote:

WHOA!

I always thought that song was sung by a black band.

I am so white.

gala, just be civil, it'll be over soon.

or, maybe it'll work out for you, the way it did for me...

2 days before someone I couldn't stand left, I badly pulled a muscle and had to stay home for 3 days. Really, wasn't faking it.

It was worth the pain.

How do you feel about falling down a short flight of stairs, or maybe just tripping on the gravel in your driveway?

Ha. this guy's far away...I was hired online sight unseen.
Civil, yes. As a matter of fact, it's worked out well in recent months because I am spare in the communication with him. So far, I haven't responded to his high drama email about his departure from the company.

I swear, he wants me to lay prostrate to him, or whatever...

White you are...I'd never seen the band that sung that song but I never once thought they were brothers.

Izzie wrote:

I'd just go with a "best wishes on your new job" email

you've lost nothing

you've wished someone well and you haven't compromised anything

Thanks to you too, Izzie. I'm going to be darling.

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George has some excellent advice.

You can always wish him the future that he is sure to earn by his own efforts.

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I haven't done squat to respond to him yet because I'm mustering up my skills to be polite. I have a low tolerance for people who are opaque but think they're being transparent-- wait a minute, isn't this the definition of a salesman?

Noddy, I'm going to try.

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Gala--

Your slimy salesman is going bye-bye. You have to live with yourself.

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Noddy24 wrote:

Gala--

Your slimy salesman is going bye-bye. You have to live with yourself.

Said slimy salesman is passing the torch onto an even younger person who could be my boss. He's hinted they may not be using my services anymore but are being extremely vague.

I've had equal proportions of negative and positive with them-- the money's been good, but dealing with them has not. I'm trying to decide if I ought to just quit, especially seeing as I have an opportunity to work Sundays in July for the organic farmer.

I'm thinking after that something will come along...

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Can we talk manners for a moment?

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