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Thu 22 May, 2008 02:15 pm
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish a life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads but will lay eggs, file your
< B>important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken.
This is a new platform much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% - - - reboot
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white. We need some black chickens.
Rev. J. Wright: DAM that chicken!
Actually, the chicken never made it across the road. I ran it over.
Nothing beats chicken liver on a bagel.
WOLFSON, ICKES, MCAULIFFE AND PENN:
It's far too early to say the chicken crossed the road. Just saying you crossed the road doesnt make it so.
First off it all depends on how you define "road". If you count not just the tarred part, but the grassy hill on both sides of it as well, he hasnt yet crossed the road at all. Whereas some parts of the road he claims he's crossed, well - it's a sham. Look at the left-hand lanes for example: they're empty! If no car drives there, it's not really part of the road, so that shouldnt count.
We'd also like to remind the press that if the British rules had applied, the chicken wouldnt have gotten to the other side at all; in fact, would have come back from there, and be way behind now!
Our candidate thinks that upon reflection, what should count is not whether you reach the other "side", but how much length of road you've walked. The chicken took the easy way, the short route, right across the road, but our candidate has walked along the length of the road for all her life, and so she obviously has a better claim to having crossed the road.
Michelle Obama:
For the first time in my adult lifetime, I am really proud of my chicken making it across the road, and not just because Barack has done it so well, but because I think people are truly hungry for a bite of chickie or should we say "Sweetie"? .
MILLER:
The chicken crossed the road because Obama told him to, and now he's dead. That's what Barack Hussein Obama will do with America too.
nimh wrote:MILLER:
The chicken crossed the road because Obama told him to, and now he's dead. That's what Barack Hussein Obama will do with America too.
Will he fry it after it's dead?
High cholesterol levels...
TTH: If that chicken crosses the road, or even attempts to try, I will never come back to this forum again! I'm serious this time -- if that chicken so much as moves...
Gus: If that chicken crosses the road, I'm going to grab it so we can pound away like a couple of crazed raccoons in front of a roaring fire in my apartment.
mame you'll be needing a videographer and a dj to play Barry White tunes.... call me....
Barry White?? Sorry but no way!
that's for Gus.... cheaper than viagra.... don't be so self centered...
Because Mame was over there and he always wanted a pair of lips.
Ha! That was funny, cjhsa!
Dys: She crossed the road cause she's a poopityhead.
Diane: No, no, no. She crossed the road to come to a wonderful A2K gathering where even she was delightful, entertaining and smart.
Dys: Like I said. She's a poopityhead.
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