Halloween is Coming! Time to Plan the Costumes

See the glass tower to the left of the escalators? That's where our accounting department's lunchroom was located. I always thought it looked a lot like a gilded birdcage.

So..., one year I dressed up as a gilded bird. Purchased lots of cheap but colorful feather boas, tore them apart and stapled them all over a black shirt, and made a feather mask with a huge beak. Wings were created out of stiff wire and some more feathers stapled to fabric. I then stood at the window flapping my wings at people below as they walked by.

Used to have pictures of the hilarious sight, but I seem to have lost them.


Another year I came as a tiger. I painted up my face to look just like tiger stripes and whiskers and wore animal print clothing with a long fluffy tail.

As a kid, I remember going to a school party as a vending machine. I painted up large cardboard boxes, cut holes in it for my head and arms and slots with knobs to dispense Halloween goodies to friends.

Psst Halloween is Letty's birthday!

I am going to dress up in my favorite costume - a Pint of Guinness.

I attacked and stole this costume from some poor soul (who was walking down the street advertising the message "don't drink and drive on this holiday") a few years back.

I LOVE THIS COSTUME! It is sooo me!

Another year I went to work as Cousin It from the Adams Family. Wore a knee-length wig with hair that totally surrounded my body. Topped it off with a little black derby hat and dark sunglasses then walked around all day on my knees muttering. Scared the crap outta folks as they came around the corner.



Guinness, huh? Is it a full body costume that you poke your legs and arms out of? What material is it made from, plastic or fabric?

Went to a Halloween scavenger hunt one year dressed as Queen Elizabeth. Crown, bad hairdo, purple velvet cape with ermine trim, the works.

Had to run all over town looking for odd objects.

Can you imagine me in a pizza restaurant, looking up "B5" on the jukebox? Or climbing up on top of the "Emergency Room" sign outside the local hospital entrance to find the sign company's name on the sticker? How about rummaging through a dumpster behind a Dairy Queen for a used plastic spoon with the "DQ" logo?

Well, I was quite a sight.

Especially after eating cheese crackers and homemade fudge all evening without taking off my long, white evening gloves. (How does she manage that, I wondered.)

And it didn't help that I was accompanied by a big game hunter, two coneheads, a French maid and a robot.

I knew what I was going to be for halloween last month when I saw pirates of the carribean - a PIRATE, arrr!

Chuckling at both Cousin It and Queen E dashing around with a manic glint in her eye and rummaging through dumpsters.

I made a Medusa costume (lots of plastic snakes, which I still have) that was pretty good, but most of my best costumes were when I was a kid.

One year I dressed like a female bodybuilder. Looked like Vera Demilo, Jim Carey's character in "In Living Color." Wore a bikini top, shaved my chest/stomach, really short jean shorts, boots, lipstick, elastics in my hair, and rubbed baby oil over my body.
The next year after that, I was a tampon. A clean one. Almost took the next step, but didn't. That was fun, but I couldn't sit down, and it was hard going to the bathroom.
If I dress up this year, I think I'll be a pregnant nun smoking a cigar.

Or how about a pedophile priest with the ass cut out of his pants?

Pedophile priest...that is a good call.

Ah, in '81 (I think) I went as a dance hall girl - petticoats, a corset, that sort of thing. I think my date was a vampire and I eventually ended up as a zombie dance hall girl.

That year, late at night on the trolley, I recall seeing a punk rocker and his dog, with matching spiked collars.

Now that sounds like a great scavenger hunt! Kudos to the organizers for their creativity in creating some really challenging but not too difficult tasks to complete for items on the list.

Yep, as I remember they sent people to the airport (what's the gate attendant's name at Gate 35), the grocery store (how much is a 3 oz. can of marinated mushrooms), and a very expensive Chinese restaurant (chopsticks with logo), too. I heard later that the guy dressed as the Land Shark was arrested for stealing a single piece of firewood from in front of a convenience store. Wouldn't you have loved to be at the police station when they hauled HIM in?!

The last time I went trick or treating was in my final year of high school. We went to Honest Ed's house (Torontonians will know) and asked for candy. He said we were too old to be trick or treating and laughed at us, then slammed the door in our faces. He may be honest, but he sure is cheap.

This year, I'm thinking about dressing up as Cousin It again for when I answer the door for trick or treaters.

How about Haunted Houses? Ever have one of your own for the neighbor kids to go through? What makes for a good haunted house?


We used to make a haunted house for the neighborhood to tour through while blindfolded when we were kids. I remember peeling and freezing grapes and then putting them into a slimy bowl of jello and telling the kids they were eyeballs. Wonderbread and catsup was always great for the bloody chunks of skin and we used to string up cold dripping strands of spaghetti noodles in the doorway so it would dangle on their faces as they entered.

When I was a kid, the man who owned the lumber yard in our town always made a haunted house in their basement with slides and "caves" to crawl through...Not too scary, but always fun and all the kids in town went there.

I was never very creative with costumes, but once dressed up as Mimi from the Drew Carey show, that was fun because I got to be loud-mouthed and make nasty comments to people, something I'm not really known for.

I remember putting some eyeballs from fresh roadkill in a bowl. Somebody asked me if they were peeled grapes. Good time.

That's right, peeled grapes. And fat, cooked noodles in a little something kind of wet (but probably not oil.

It's official, we're having a halloween party! Now to figure out the decorations....

May I suggest you put the grapes (eyeballs) in a bowl of mashed-up jello? Really icky. Of course, jello has all sorts of uses in a funhouse.