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Wed 30 Apr, 2008 06:43 pm
I loved a girl very much.I proposed her in the last moment...cz her family already engaged her with someone else.Its a sattle marrige.Her parents mentally gives her pressure to marrige and after that she agreed.....But i proposed her after she was agreed.....now she is telling me that u r so late...I cant do anything....cz my parents r so conjervative...she told me that its impossible 4 me to do anything now....I told her to say her parents about us but she told me if she says it they gonna kill her....she is so afraid....So now both of us r in pain cz her marrige is in December in 2008...every arrangment have alraedy done.....
Now plz someone tell me what should we do...Mind u one thing we both r from a very very conjervative family...her family is too conjervative than my on.....and she cant share her feelings to anyone...so plz give me some advice as quick qs possible......cz time is short
Sabbir
No, time is not that short, and no, it's not too late.
Arrangements can be changed. Hell, the groom is probably the easiest arrangement to change, and I'm not being flip about that. Cancelling a caterer is hard, but getting one guy into a suit versus another guy is actually easier.
Talk to the parents. There's a wild idea. Yes, talk to them. Explain: she's in love with you, not with this other guy, etc. etc. Make sure -- since it's obviously extremely important to them -- that you will provide for her, you have a stable job, you have a good future ahead of you, etc. I assume that you do. Don't you? If you don't, you've got a much harder battle in front of you. Conservative parents, those that put together arranged marriages, are looking for economic security for their children, particularly for their daughters. Being unable to provide that will be the kiss of death in this area.
So be sure you're set to go in that area. And, if you're not, act fast. Because then you'd be right: the time really would be short.
and if that doesn't work elope
Sabbir,
How old are you? Is this an arranged marriage due to cultural traditions?
Is there a priest, or some other elder, that could talk to the parents?
I don't think this is up to you - SHE must stand up to her parents and not let them tell her who to marry. That is her choice.
She may not marry you in the future, or she might. But it should be her choice.
She needs to get help from her community's modern thinkers. I bet there are others who are no longer getting trapped into marrying against their will. She needs to find help. Help her do that. But don't talk about marriage with her yet. She is not ready.
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