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Fri 25 Apr, 2008 06:50 pm
This week I was on Cape Cod with my parents. They took me out to an outreach charity dinner (they are only tangentially involved). Most of the attendees were in their 60s and 70s. I was by far the youngest, as 40, except for the wait-staff. I hadn't been to this sort of thing before and it was interesting.
We had drinks and hors d'ouvres before dinner and we ran into a couple who had kids in my high school at the same time as me and my siblings. I spent quite some time talking to them. We talked about his kids, about the outreach program, about his career, etc. Then we ran out of things to talk about and we were just standing out of the flow of the masses. My dad arrived late and came over to me and this old townie man.
After they greeted each other, the man made a strange comment. My dad had just told him how I was allowed in last minute and we weren't sure we'd have a place for me to sit. The old man said something to the effect that I could sit on his lap if I didn't have a seat - to my dad. Then he called him self a dirty old man and smiled. Me and my dad just sort of froze and then mentally shrugged and carried on.
I'm nearly 40, I'm no prude. I was mildly shocked at this quaker looking, crucifiction wearing old man. What should I have done or said?
You should have done exactly what you did.
From reading what you have written, his comment was clearly meant as a joke.
Was it in poor taste? Yes it was.
Was it worth making a scene over? No it wasnt.
After the event, you might have taken him aside and told him you really didnt see the humor in his comment, but thats as far as you need to go with it.
Of course, thats just my opinion.
"Your wife will be interested in that"
His wife was sitting right next to him. I know - not much I could have done. But, a snappy retort would have felt better.
I think so too that it was intended as a joke.
You could have said that the only reason you were allowed into this old geezer crowd was your subscription to "Depends" and that's precisely the reason you couldn't sit on his lap.
You should have said: "lap dances cost extra".
hellooooo compliment. You should have said gosh I don't know something about how he was attractive.. hmm. "i'd sit on your lap but my daddy might spank me!" ok that's over the top
still it was meant to make you feel good and he is a letch
You did the right thing, littlek, by exercising your "mental shrug", and carrying on. I bet that guy lives alone, owns a parakeet, and spends an inordinate amount of time in his recliner.
Green Witch wrote:You should have said: "lap dances cost extra".
Yes! That's it! That's what I should have said.
Oh well, maybe next time. He deserved to have a little of his own cheekiness thrown back at him, but it's hard to think up something appropriate when your brain is in shock and your father is there.
I was more uncomfortable for my father than for me.
littlek wrote:I was more uncomfortable for my father than for me.
Understandable, it adds a level of creepiness to the comment. I hope this guy is haunted by his faux pas for awhile and maybe next time he will think before he speaks.
That kind of inappropriate joke merits a "jokingly" delivered notice that it was inappropriate.
Like: "Please! I just ate!"
Sometimes wine distorts wit.
People can be damn fools with or without wine.
I do like "please, I just ate"
I think your expression and the fact that you didn't reply-- spoke more definitively.
If you respond, you join in at that level. By not responding, you remained above it.
That was completely inappropriate. Geezers! Damn. If he'd have touched you, I hope you would have slapped his dentures across the dining hall.
Ha!
Hey Lash, it's good to see you.
I can picture a friend's husband saying that. Mr. Charm. He hasn't renegotiated the terrain from 21 to near 80. She puts up with it.. an interesting choice, but they have enough to argue about and love each other about.
littlek
If you had taken up the old geezer's offer and sat on his lap, there would have been no shortage of things to talk about for the rest of the evening.
BBB
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