neologist wrote:Jesus would not run.
The House Speaker (
reverentially and intimately): "Ladies and Gentlemen, I would, without further ado, like to tell you about our new President (
crowd whispers loudly in anticipation).
The House Speaker (
screaming):
Jesus Christ Almighty - Our Lord and Savior - the new president of these United States - the Son of God!" (
crowd hollers in religious fervor).
The House Speaker (
in a deep slow rich sonorous tone - rather like James Earl Jones):
"His was a hard race that began in poverty and ended in pain on a cross. His was a race that lead Him around a track lined with hatred, bitterness, opposition and the desire to see Him dead."
"His was a race that set the perfect example of how a race should be run. His was a race in which He never faltered. He never lost sight of the goal and He never quit running until the goal had been achieved. When you feel like quitting, just look to Jesus and consider the race He ran for you and me!" (
The crowd becomes uncontrollably affected; women swoon, men stare unblinking at the heavens, children cling to their parents in uncertainty, hounds bay woefully, cats hiss angrily.....)
Jesus Christ Almighty, the 44th president of the United States, steps simply to the podium.....his haberdashery and personal grooming are a step above Saville Row.....his poise immaculate.......his eyes infinite....his face beatific in its perfection.
He opens his mouth to speak........the silence of the crowd is painfully deafening........the anticipation just beyond human tolerance........