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Tue 2 Sep, 2003 11:22 am
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has Gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Dont use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer!
I do number 6 all the time.
I especially like no. 7. I sometimes add "I have spoken" after stating an opnion, but I like "in accordance with my prophecies" better...
Insane or stupid?
When approaching a mental institution, a car had a flat tire on the right rear. The driver stopped in front, across the street next to a steep slope. He jacked the car up and removed the wheel nuts and put them in the hubcap next to the slope. When he was mounting the spare, he bumped the hubcap and it, with the five nuts rolled out of reach down the hill. To get more nuts he crossed the street to use the phone at the institution to call the Auto Club to bring some. There was a patient sitting in a chair watching the goings on all the time. When asked if he could use the phone, the patient asked the driver why he didn't just take a nut off each of the other three wheels and put them on the spare and drive to a place that he could get replacement nuts. The driver told him that it was a brilliant idea, and wondered why he was in the institution. The patient said that he was really insane, but not stupid.
I've actually gotten away with number 5. Naturally, I've denied any guilt.
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