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I frikken give up! Is it ADD?

 
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Apr, 2008 05:21 pm
I was right! She wasn't there today and now it looks like she won't be there tomorrow.

Of the last six days of school she has been there two. I wish I'd kept track all year......
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Apr, 2008 05:52 pm
I definitely think a word with the principal is in order.

Does he do email? That's how I talk to sozlet's principal, convenient. If not, a letter does sound good. Not a blame-y thing but a "Mo has issues with inconsistency; this [musical teachers] is a problem and I'd like to talk to you about how to best address it" sort of thing.

How's Mo doing lately?
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Apr, 2008 06:04 pm
Yes, I'm assuming she does email as I easily found an email address for her. That's what I actually meant by "letter".

I keep typing it up and hating it. I'll hit the right note soon.

I hope.

I believe in brevity when it comes to official communication and this situation doesn't lend itself to brevity.
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Apr, 2008 06:15 pm
Cool, I think email is perfect for this. It's a bit less formal -- people tend to freeze up and get into defensive mode when they get an actual paper letter, these days. (But you still have the advantages of documentation.)

You'll hit the right note soon.
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dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Apr, 2008 09:59 pm
boomerang wrote:
I was right! She wasn't there today and now it looks like she won't be there tomorrow.

Of the last six days of school she has been there two. I wish I'd kept track all year......


The school will have a record.

all you need to do is make the school aware of your concern.

Are you familiar enough with other parents to discuss the teachers absece with them? Its always a good idea to have a support base.

Also, speak with parents from previous years. Has this been going on for some years?

is there a PTA or school council. What role do/can they play.
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Apr, 2008 03:07 pm
what news?
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Apr, 2008 04:37 pm
I guess something was said (or her sick time ran out) because this morning there was an email in my box titled "Where is our teacher?" with an explaination of where she's been with a bit about her still being sick but coming back anyway because the substitute was sick now too.

The school has been trying to have the same sub since everyone was freaked out by "Ms. Futz" as we called the other ususal sub. I think Ms. Futz is gone because I ratted her out to "Mick"'s mom after Ms. Futz released Mick from the class and nobody was there to claim him. Mick has some sort of learning disability -- maybe autism? -- I don't know. But I do know that it's pretty serious when Mick goes wandering down the street on his own. I chased him down and made him go back in the school and told Mick's mom the next day. Mick's mom is on the board of the school's foundation. Ms. Futz has never been seen again.

So the news is that people are talking about it and it is not just me.
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Apr, 2008 04:40 pm
Good! I had a professor who was also a principal. Anytime he heard anything like the above he'd ask us, "Who's fault is that?" It was ALWAYS the principal's fault, in his opinion
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Apr, 2008 10:36 am
I had a very enlightening conversation last night with a woman whose son is on Mo's baseball team. Her son is in the third grade and had the same firs grade teacher that Mo has now. "Nothing's changed -- she was never there two years ago either. They started harping that "Cal" had ADD. We had him assesed through the school and privately. Both assesments came back saying he didn't have ADD."

She was fifteen when her son was born so I guess about twenty one or twenty two when Cal was in the first grade and "scared completley shitless" that they were looking for any excuse to take him away. "I'm not afraid of them anymore and you shouldn't be afraid of them either" said the wise twenty four year old to the scared forty seven year old.

Meanwhile....

Mo is going batshit crazy because a friend in his class "disappeared" after telling Mo that he probably wouldn't be back to school because his mom has to go to jail and he doesn't have a dad so he has to go live with his stepmom somewhere.

DO SOMETHING, MOM!

I really like this half-size kid with his double size attitude who hugs me everytime he sees me....

DO SOMETHING, MOM!

Mo's in a frenzy. I'm trying to be cool but trying to find out whats going on if only to reassure Mo that his friend is okay.

DO SOMETHING, MOM!

So today I did something -- I took Mo to school, came home, and cried for a half hour.

I frikken hate school.
0 Replies
 
FreeDuck
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Apr, 2008 12:17 pm
Oh boomer, that sucks! Poor Mo.

All I can say is that I hope 2nd grade is better for you. We're not really enjoying it much, but maybe Mo will get a super nice really good teacher.
0 Replies
 
Swimpy
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Apr, 2008 01:48 pm
Boomer, have you contacted the principal, yet? I suggest you not wait. Request that Mo be transferred to a new classroom. This teacher situation doesn't sound stable enough for a guy like Mo ADD or no ADD.
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Apr, 2008 02:57 pm
Yes, I sent an email to the pricipal this morning. I'd been struggling with it for a while and finally decided to just go ahead and send something very basic:

This is who I am.
This is what we're dealing with at home.
This is how the teacher's attendance is effecting us.
Please try to make sure it doesn't happen again.

I'll report back when I hear back.

I don't want Mo transferred to a different class -- WAY TOO much change this late in the game. There are only about 30 school days left in the year.
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Apr, 2008 04:29 pm
boomerang wrote:
I had a very enlightening conversation last night with a woman whose son is on Mo's baseball team. Her son is in the third grade and had the same firs grade teacher that Mo has now. "Nothing's changed -- she was never there two years ago either.


Is this a parrellel universe?

This is so similar to my own teacher experience it is scary.

We had also decided to "not do anything about it" as it was too late in the year, and all the other compassionate and lack of information reasons. Then we found out it had been going on for three or 4 years.

I decided I had to act, not really for my kids but for all the kids that were going to come after him.

If I didnt act then the exact same situation would occur the following year. parents would take half the year to wake up to what was occurring then sit on their hands for compassionate reasons, start chatting with older parents suddenly find out it had been going on for some years then decide it was too late in the year to do anything about it.

I wrote and talked to everyone I could think of during the last couple of months of my sons year and was given lots of assurances that It wouldn't be happening the following year, but it did. The teacher concerned was put on notice to improve attendance or she risked disciplinary action at the end of my sons year, but it still took another full year for any material action to be taken. The school offered her the role of school librarian and she was told there was no other position available.

The teacher took immediate stress leave. Which backs up my assessment that she was abusing the system.

We never saw her again.

Like I said before your teacher is using/abusing the system. The school wont act unless they get letters of complaint from parents.
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Apr, 2008 07:25 pm
Wow, dadpad. That's downright freaky.

You almost have to wonder if it isn't all somehow calculated to reach a boiling point towards the end of the year so people won't do/say anything about it.

I'm usually really good at confrontation but when it comes to Mo I always have to calculate in his reaction to things so I'll admit I didn't write with ruckus in mind -- I just wanted to make sure that the problem didn't continue into next year. We'll see where my letter leads. I'm not afraid to raise a stink if I need to.

Honestly I'm pretty glad I learned this lesson so early in his schooling, a few more years down the line could be much more disruptive.
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Apr, 2008 05:33 pm
I haven't heard back from the principal but then again I didn't demand a response but only invited her to respond if she had further questions or comments.

Today was my regular classroom volunteer day though and I noticed her hanging around quite a bit. I think she'd been doing a little digging as the regular Friday teacher (the consistent, predictable one) made a point of telling me how much better Mo was doing in class.

She even said "I wish they could all have parents who cared as much as you" which made me feel really good and makes me think maybe the wheels are turning somewhere.

In equally good news the little guy was back in school today! I didn't want to be too nosey or anything so I just said it was good to see him and asked if everything was okay and he said "We have a new apartment so I get to stay here!"

Happy day!

Happy day!
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Apr, 2008 06:13 pm
All good news. V. good to hear.
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Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Apr, 2008 06:45 pm
Very Happy
0 Replies
 
 

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