I frikken give up! Is it ADD?

Liked Robert Gentel's contribution.

My cousin, as I said, is a semi expert in all this, in that her psychology practice is highly engaged in therapy for children with it, on medication or not. She is on some sort of state ethics board. She and her husband and children have it. Just looking up a.d.d. makes me think, yep, me too, though I was never hyperactive, so I'll cheerfully rule out adhd. Indeed, I'm rather similar to my cousin, Heeven help her.

Thing is, I like my brain, whether or not it is a diagnosable complex. I suspect some goodly portion of the population have brains that vary from "norm" in this way, and, not having read at more length, just by looking around, I take it as a 'normal' variation.

I had to laugh. I read a not so long ago column or blog by Judith Thurman in the NY Times, where she went to an ADD meeting in Orlando.
I read the comments as well as her column. Interesting. But most interesting to me was that "trouble paying bills" seems to be a symptom. I'm a pathological failure at bill paying, though that is mostly from lack of monetary accumulation... but, no, not all. After a lifetime of assigned tasks and accomplishing of them, for the most part, I've new revulsion of them in my stately years.



Anyway, I don't see even diagnosis by experts as some kind of life going to hell thing. I do think information is good, and self understanding is good, and Mo will need that as he grows up. Information is a tool. Mo will need to understand himself to become strong, other than physically strong. Or at least start to. Which is where many of us are, starting to, however old.

Mo will need the self-understanding. Ideally what I'd do as a 1:1 is, in large part, try to give the child tools to use to self-monitor. I spend less time on this when he's off medication and more time on being a sort of referee. In an ideal world, he'd be on medication while being taught how to self-monitor and then be taken off with similar coaching.

I heard back from our doctor with a referral and did a quick google search on the name and was pleased to see that she is someone who works with a lot of foster parents and adoptive parents so I'm hoping she won't confuse the attachment disorder issues with attention disorder issues.

Honestly right now I'm looking forward to getting some kind of diagnosis so we can put it to rest. Either he has it and we get treatment or the next time someone suggests that is what the problem is we can say "We've had him evaluated."

Fingers crossed that she accepts our insurance.....

Go Boomer! Go Mo!

diagnosis is so helpful, even just for the purpose of having a label for 'it'. before i knew i'm "sensory defensive" i thought i'm just nuts, undisciplined, impossible, weird.... once i had a diagnosis, there was hope, a possible way out, energy, will to do things.
of course it can also be misused as montana said before ("i can't do this because i have X") ...but hopefully that's also avoidable with good coaching.
best of luck, boomer!

Good deal! Do bump into your neighbor, though, and ask if she's heard of her and if so, what she thinks. I'm thinking you could ask his therapist for a referral too, just in case.

Good....

Best of luck to you and Mo, Boomer.

Promising start!

I don't have anything to add regarding the ADD diagnosis, but something you said stuck out at me and I wanted to mention my thoughts about it to you.

Boomer, you said:



This could be a big source of some of his problems. If it were me, I'd be feeling isolated and "different" than the other kids. I'd be wanting to be included and would try to get their attention with my behavior in an attempt to do so.

Being in that far away desk is probably also making him a good target for some teasing by the kids and their assumptions as to why he's there.

It might be a good idea to talk with the teacher again and possibly suggest moving his desk back with the other kids to see if that stops some of the behavior problems. If it does, maybe the teacher will be more receptive to setting up a "quiet place" in the classroom that any of the kids can go to when they feel they need it. That wouldn't single out Mo as being different and in need of special treatment.

Depending on the location of his desk now, he may also just be having trouble hearing or reading the board from the location of his desk. Has that been checked out? It doesn't necessarily mean his eyesight and his hearing. The desk location could be near something noisy like an air vent or hallway, or connecting wall to a noisy location such as a music room.

Since he is crying about it, he might also be thinking it isn't worthwhile to maintain friendships because when he does, he gets punished by being separated/isolated and ends up feeling an outsider. He's had a lot of instances of separation and starting over for a little guy.

As a kid, I remember going through some of that myself after yet another best friend moved away with her family. I started refusing to get close to people and make friends because they always ended up moving away and leaving me.

That sure makes sense, butrfly, given he is still off in siberia...
wondering.

I agree with everything you said, Butrflynet.

But this is where him having one teacher Mo-Th (and gone several other days each month) and a different teacher on F (see other thread) makes everything so damn complicated.

I communicate with the MoTh teacher and hope that the message gets through to everyone else. Then the F teacher moves him. Then he has a weekend and a Sub for a couple of days and when the MoTh returns he's kind of settled in.

My boat rocking can sometimes stir things back up making it even harder for Mo. He doesn't do well with change. It draws attention to him when he's moved back and forth. Sometimes the status quo is best even when it's far from perfect.

He would.......relationship trauma stuff is triggered by relationship.

Is he worse re this right now, having just been uprooted again, and having lost the relationships he had formed where you were before?

That would have tended to have confirmed his cognitive schema around "people you care for will always go away."

That makes sense. It would explain why hes afraid to let anyone get too close.

Boommerang I don't know where you live, but at Massachusetts General Hospital they have a learning disabilities unit that is number 1 in the US.
Dr. Rosenburg, who is or was the head of the department has written numerous books and is one of the top authorities on ADl.

I am an adult ADD (It nev er goes away) and I wouldn't toucy Ritalin.
I swiched over to Wellbutrin which was much better.

I could go on for hours but will not. I'd go online and check MA Gen out.

I'm at the opposite end of the country - in Oregon. Mass. General would be a bit too far for me to travel!

Mo's teacher was still not back today and most likely won't be there tomorrow. Mr. B is positively explosive.

This teacher is using the system. In my opinion it amounts to child abuse.

Dont get angry... get even! Your son cant fight this fight you need to do it for him.

I'm gonna look or some of the letters I wrote.

Or the teacher has an illness or crisis of some sort that the kids are not being told about and that will resolve.


I think it's a bit premature to be throwing about assumptions........




However, that this is problematic for Mo is normal and clear.


Given that, I think there is no problem with Boomer seeking clarification from the school re how long the situation may continue and whether there are possible better ways to manage this for Mo...eg a consistent temp. if this situation is likely to continue?

Re: I frikken give up! Is it ADD?




PET scans are apparently showing differences in forebrain activity of people "diagnosed" with ADD/ADHD vs "normal" people.


However, whether these differences in brain activity represent a cause of behaviour, or reflect other experiences (such as trauma, that cause brain differences) that have affected the brain (experience shapes brain structure) or are a result of the brain's response to some other underlying cause is not clear.


It's all a risk/benefit thing.



If Mo is properly and cautiously evaluated, with an eye to his history, and IF medication is suggested it is properly trialled (preferably double blind placebo and active medication trials with evaluations of any difference in behaviour by people around him who have no idea whether he is on active meds or not) and IF it is decided to trial medication he is carefully monitored for adverse effects, it's likely a reasonable thing to try.


This also depends on Mo's attitude.....some kids feel really positive about meds which make life a bit easier for them for a while, some feel like it means they are crazy or have bad brains.



As Robert said, it's all clinical judgment, there ain't no test for it.

An indicator can be scoring low on attention scales in, eg, the WISC....however, of course, this is something that can also be caused by trauma.


Thing is Boomer, it's your decision. You can only be guided by professional opinion, and it's your call.

There is huge disagreement about ADD/ADHD by professionals.....I know psychiatrists who think it a load of bunkum, for example.


It's not surprising you are confused.


IF you do decide to trial meds, it's not a decision you cannot undo.

I've been working on a letter to the school principal.

I was going to set up a meeting but I know I can get a little emotional or hot-headed depending on how people react to such things so I'm thinking a letter will be better. Plus, it will document my problem better than a conversation would. I'm better on paper than in person.

For the last couple of weeks we've recircled the family wagons -- cutting down on outside activities, that sort of thing, making sure we have a lot of time to just futz around in hopes that less action at home might help him control his stress at school.

Is it working?

We don't know.

His teacher has only been there for three days.....