In love with two people at once

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I don't know what to do i have two people in my life that has been around one of them for 6 years had a baby with him 2 years ago (name is Tom). The other one 8 years best friend (named is Nick) . I care for the both of them with all my heart and would do anything for them both. I feel with Tom I should be with him b.c of our daughter and he is everything that i have ever wanted in my future for my daughter and i. But we are from two different sides of the world. He done with college, has a real job, very happy person, goes to church ever sunday, has a lot of really good friends that been around since he was a little boy, great big family 7 kids, We don't really get along but i really think thats b/c i am a bitch half the time,i think he likes his job way to much b/c he is their all the time and never spends time with our daughter. She really could care less about him and he lives by himself is a nasty pig. As for myself not done with school not even close, no job, depressed for the most part have two friends, only kid in my family, don't get a long with my family, i was adopted just have a lot of problems. Then for my best friend Nick were a little bit more like each other but he has a way better family then myself. We connect better on everything. I feel very comfortable around him and could tell him anything in the world i can't do that with Tom. With Nick i feel like him and i would get no where in life. Because both of us are not in college (don't get me wrong he has a good job but...) we live with our parents, he smokes pot i don't agree with that for my daughter sake, He has never been in trouble but still the point, he is great with my daughter she loves him b/c he is always around doing stuff with us. Helps me out with a lot of stuff goes out of his way for my daughter and i. Both Nick and Tom are very in love with me for some reason and would like to spend the rest of their lifes with me and i can't figure out which one, i would be happy with more then the other.I know thats this is wrong but i really do love the both of them with all my heart. Oh my parents hate Tom and loves the Nick . Please could someone give me some advice on how to choice witch one is best so i can get rid of one them b/c i can't take this any more. Crying or Very sad

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You sure don't sound in love with Tom to me... you seem to have already made this decision (in favor of Nick). What's holding you back? The fact that Tom is your daughter's father?

If you have this much disdain for him now, I can't imagine things lasting, and that's worse for your daughter in the long run than just not even getting re-involved now.

(Must you get married to either of them? Nick sounds like he has some issues, too...)

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Re: In love with two people at once

abubblyme wrote:

I don't know what to do i have two people in my life that has been around one of them for 6 years had a baby with him 2 years ago (name is Tom). The other one 8 years best friend (named is Nick) . I care for the both of them with all my heart and would do anything for them both.

I feel with Tom I should be with him b.c of our daughter and he is everything that i have ever wanted in my future for my daughter and i. But we are from two different sides of the world. He done with college, has a real job, very happy person, goes to church ever sunday, has a lot of really good friends that been around since he was a little boy, great big family 7 kids, We don't really get along but i really think thats b/c i am a bitch half the time,i think he likes his job way to much b/c he is their all the time and never spends time with our daughter. She really could care less about him and he lives by himself is a nasty pig.

As for myself not done with school not even close, no job, depressed for the most part have two friends, only kid in my family, don't get a long with my family, i was adopted just have a lot of problems.

Then for my best friend Nick were a little bit more like each other but he has a way better family then myself. We connect better on everything. I feel very comfortable around him and could tell him anything in the world i can't do that with Tom. With Nick i feel like him and i would get no where in life. Because both of us are not in college (don't get me wrong he has a good job but...) we live with our parents, he smokes pot i don't agree with that for my daughter sake, He has never been in trouble but still the point, he is great with my daughter she loves him b/c he is always around doing stuff with us. Helps me out with a lot of stuff goes out of his way for my daughter and i.

Both Nick and Tom are very in love with me for some reason and would like to spend the rest of their lifes with me and i can't figure out which one, i would be happy with more then the other.I know thats this is wrong but i really do love the both of them with all my heart. Oh my parents hate Tom and loves the Nick . Please could someone give me some advice on how to choice witch one is best so i can get rid of one them b/c i can't take this any more.

I broke your post up into paragraphs so that it's easier to talk about the different points.

First, don't marry Tom.

Second, don't marry Nick.

Third, don't marry anyone until you are able to support yourself and your daughter on your own and then you won't find yourself married to someone you discover isn't the Prince Charming you were looking for with no way out.

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Oh, honestly JPB...that makes entirely too much sense. What are you trying to do, take all the fun out of this?!

Tell you what, abubblyme. Flip a coin. Heads, it's Tom. Tails, it's Nick.

It doesn't really matter. It wouldn't work out with either of them, for all the reasons you've stated. ("As for myself not done with school not even close, no job, depressed for the most part have two friends, only kid in my family, don't get a long with my family, i was adopted just have a lot of problems, etc.)

You're not a bad person. You just haven't sorted out your own life yet, which makes you a very poor risk for a long-term relationship.

Finish school. Get a good job. Get a handle on the depression. Sort out the family relationships you do have. Concentrate on becoming the best parent you can be for your daughter. When you've done all that, THEN you'll have something to offer a partner.

It takes time.

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I swear people make this stuff up . . .

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[quote="SULLYFISH66"]I swear people make this stuff up . . .[/quote]

Laughing

What are you looking for?
A partner, with whom you want to make a life together?
Or a man to support you and your daughter?
How old are you?
How often do you see Tom? How often does he see his daughter?
What are your plans for your future?
What do you want to do after you finish school?

Mainly I would go with JPBs advice!
Start making a life for yourself and your daughter, then you can start looking for partners.

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In love with two people at once

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